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A Chinese woman recently sparked controversy online
after claiming that she has spent the last 12 years of her life trying
to raise enough money to ensure that her brother finds a bride.
It’s no secret that securing a bride in China is harder than in most
other countries. One of the unexpected effects of the Asian country’s
notorious one-child policy was gender inequality. For decades, many
couples, especially in rural regions, aimed for boys, turning to
sex-selective abortion and even infanticide to make sure that their only
child was a boy. Males were strong enough to work and more likely to be
successful enough to look after their elderly parents later on in life.
Only that created a serious gender inequality in China, with more
bachelors for every single woman, which makes it very difficult for men
to secure a bride. So in some cases, their families offer them financial
support, to increase their chances of finding a suitable bride.
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But to truly understand the need for financial support in what is
considered a matter of the heart, we need to talk about ‘bride price‘.
This longstanding Chinese tradition of the groom’s family having to
offer gifts to the bride’s family in exchange for her hand has changed
significantly over the last few decades. In the ’60s and ’70s, modest
gifts like bedding were the norm, then in the ’80s it was household
electronics like TVs and refrigerators, but since the economic boom that
started in the 1990s, things escalated to the point where bride prices
are now paid in cash, cars and houses.
Bachelors from poor families have such low chances of finding a bride,
that some regions are resorting to importing young women from
neighboring countries, but some families are so determined to see their
single men find a bride the old-fashioned way that they sacrifice their
own lives in the process. Case in point, a 33-year-old woman from Anhui
province, in eastern China who reportedly dedicated the last 12 years of
her life to making sure her brother has enough wealth to secure a wife.
The unnamed woman told Miaowen Video that she had been running a small
restaurant specializing in Chinese pancakes with a monthly turnover of
100,000 yuan ($14,000). But instead of using the profits on herself over
the last 12 years, she had invested in a 129 sq meter home and a new car
for her brother, and she had also gifted him her restaurant…
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“I will think about myself after my brother gets married, my wedding can
wait,” the single woman said. “Over the past four years or so, I have
been so stingy, even when buying new clothes for myself.”
The woman said she hadn’t gotten a house for herself yet, reitterating
that her brother was the priority and that she would have more time to
worry about herself after he got married. As you can imagine, her views
sparked a heated debate on Chinese social media, with the vast majority
of people expressing their pity for her, and some even accusing her of
setting a bad example.
“Is her brother unable to work or something? This is unfair on the poor
sister!” one person commented.
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“The more she gives to her brother, the more her brother may take it for
granted,” someone else wrote.
In response to all the criticism, the woman simply said that people
didn’t know what her family went through over the years so they couldn’t
understand her motives.
“Everyone’s life is different. They may not have experienced hardships
like we did during our childhood, so it’s normal not to be understood,”
she said.
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