DIVORCE: The Dissolution of a Marriage

Marriage is one life changing event that happens in between a man and a woman which creates a very strong bond between the two where they can share their feelings, moments of being happy and sad together and a lot more which means that it is life changing event in a positive aspect of life and a new beginning as it is completely a different experience from the life before marriage.

Meanwhile, the sad part is when this marriage comes to an end i.e. terminated which if I define it in a single word, it is known as Divorce (Talaaq)

Divorce has always been considered not a very good thing in the religion of Islam and only in worst scenario between couples when there is no chance of resolving the issue with mutual consent, then it reaches to a conclusion of Divorce which is the last thing. In short, it is not encouraged in our society.

If we go few years back, it was not so common that we hear a news that someone in relatives, friends or anyone close to us getting divorced compared to now where we get to hear it very commonly that the couple got divorced. This sort of trend didn’t used to exist much in our country Pakistan but the current reality is bitter and it is happening usually in the young married couples.

This article will talk about the reasons why this issue has been increasing with time and what should be the solution to control its rate as divorce is not only having a negative impact on the lives of couples but to the complete society as a whole. The after effects are worst in most of the cases.

Why Divorce has become so common in Pakistan?

To discuss in detail, there could be number of reasons and some rare cases as well but the major reasons of divorce nowadays are as follows:

~ Lack of Patience and Tolerance: This article will talk about both the genders without any sort of discrimination. Marriage seems to be a very simple thing to do but it requires a lot of efforts and even compromises, in short it is a big responsibility but today’s generations lacks in patience and take everything in a negative way which creates an argument on small matters even, which are then unbearable and that frustration leads to the conflicts and issues keep on increasing and the ultimate consequence is Divorce. The lack of patience is from both ends either it be the wife or the husband. From the couple, any one partner in the marriage does the consistent efforts to keep the married life good but if no patience at all, that are where things go wrong.

~ Marriages without mutual consent:
This is one of the major reason why the marriage ends, because if any of the one partner is forced to get married without acceptance then he/she will not do justice with the marriage and just try that any how this marriage gets ended by having such an attitude with the better half that it does not create any bond between the two. This is what happens very commonly in our society that the individuals are forced to marry and family pressure plays major role in it by saying terms like ‘You are getting older’, ‘when will you get married’? or ‘Look that person is younger than you and married and now settled in life’ and many such statements of comparisons are done.

Other than above mentioned reasons there are various other reasons like Infidelity (to engage in a relationship other than your spouse or cheating), If there financial crisis, joint family system, No respect in relation and the list go on.

What can be the best solution?
We need to understand that marriage is such a contract which is created on the mutual consent of two individuals from two different backgrounds. It is a life decision you make so the decision should be made wisely rather than coming under any pressure and later the relation has to suffer and then after much suffering coming to an end.

Moreover, if you get married with consent and want to live a happy life so learn to respect each other and if any differences of opinion or any conflicts that arise which is natural that there can be, make things sorted out within yourself rather than it being public and people get involved to be safe from any mess and misunderstanding as people love to ruin other’s relationship when there is a communication gap between the couple. This way thing won’t get complicated. Later in marriages as discussed any sort of abuse i.e. physical or even verbal abuse should never be done as this is disrespect and this is common for men to do that due to which women get hurt and cannot tolerate such acts so this needs to be strictly avoided. Men should learn and parents should work on their child’s upbringing and make them respect their spouse not to do any kind of violence. By this way, many marriages can be saved.

To conclude I would like to request each married couple before reaching to the point where you have to end this relation, think twice as this decision is not an easy decision to make and affects not only you but your children as well where it becomes difficult for a child to face the society as our society asks many questions which can be unanswerable by the child and has a bad impact on the child, also the child loves to see their parents together rather than being separate. So the outcomes are not really good and if you think that things are manageable and chances are for improvement, always give a chance and make your marriage work as I have witnessed cases which gave a chance to their relation and are happily married. It is just a matter of time and effort it takes to make your relation work. Whenever there is such situation, think of best moments of happiness which brought you closer rather than those moments which created that gap between the two so that your decision making can be according to that. Only in rare cases where you find no solution to the issues only then your ultimate decision should be Divorce.