To be at the top of European fashion magazines I just had no dream but a reality. I could hardly believe it. I just wanted to be in magazines, earn money and make a trip to the European world. The struggle finally ended up to make two-time bread. Now I could have dinner at my new home in Paris, dancing and enjoy fate and reputation. After all, what is a life not all this?
When I started my period in Singapore at the age of 19, I thought of beauty that what do you think about me. If people would confirm and would like to keep me for a modeling job, then I should have been as beautiful as a result. My theory was that if I succeeded and started working then I would have to be beautiful. This attitude was dangerous because I was giving my self-esteem in the hands of others - what they think about me.
I have also decided on beauty. I was working with some of the world's most beautiful women who appeared in the most famous magazines. As he was my colleagues working with me, I thought that it was pretty beautiful.
I used another method of assuring myself with the help of the men whom I affected. Since many good, intelligent and successful men were following me, I thought I was beautiful. I was illiterate and many of my friends were also. When I became more famous, people knew me and it was not difficult to get all kinds of treatments and go anywhere in my choice. So, if I had to move all those things and wander in every place of my choice, I should have been beautiful.
Finally, self-determination became a self-relieved and selfish person. 'I', '' My '' and '' I '' were my favorite words. My entire life was at the physical level. That's my weight, my hair, my dress, and all my heart.
I once had a modeling job for two years in the Czech Republic. Every day employees come to work for all my work until my closest beds. When I had to change my clothes, someone would have stood on my clothes and coats. Three people were taking place in a person's job place. From all these things, my selfishness and self-determination hunger.
I was too busy working. I used to work for seven days a week because I knew nothing was trustworthy. I could have been graduated on any day. I could have done everything I could do at any time. After working in Germany all day, I went to work in Paris by air travel in the evening and again in the morning, I came back to Germany. I was afraid of losing all this, so I had to keep it at all costs. So I did everything I was able to do.
The result was that I was tired of illness. One day I was shocked while shooting and I fell and injured my knee. At my age, I was sick for the first time and was lying on the bed. Being unable to work was a terrible experience of my life because if it had been for just two weeks, it meant that I would lose all the fashion shows that I could do during my fitness. I have to finish fourteen shows. I was ruined, but one day when I was unable to work on the bed, I considered my life, questioned my values and ideas about beauty and thought that I am a person. Had gone I thought that my ideas about beauty were inappropriate.
For example, I know that my lines will change. My pictures (which I took from various magazines) were too old. I worked hard to reach my pictures, and my agency wanted to remove them from my portfolio within six months because everything was the old style. I was constantly trying to walk according to the new era.
I also discovered that it was a great thing to achieve such wealth, but I also learned that it was increasingly responsible for administering it. I also got the question that why people were impressed with me. Would I still love my friend if I looked different or did something else or did not have such wealth? Now I was at the height of my period that questions and doubts started troubling me. I started feeling the hollow pin of all things and my inner space. After acquiring all the things I wanted, I thought there was a lack of anything now. This whole success and attraction that I had achieved were not able to fill the space that felt inside me. What happened? Where were my preferences? The person or life I was living for.
It became clear to me that the things I was building my life were unusual. This social thought, my friend's thinking, the amount of money earned by me or my reputation was built. I thought I was putting my life base on the sand.
I considered when I grew up in Lahore, I believed that there was no need for God in my life. What was the situation There was a divorce between my parents Their faith was not helping them?
The more ways that I compare my beauty with other women. Harmony was also a problem I had to work on. I had to learn that God made me anyhow and whatever I am, I was satisfied with knowing that whatever I should do and how I look, he loves me.
It's not good to be unsatisfactory. This situation makes problems in becoming a friend or a friend. And you have a lot of expectations from others to admire you and satisfy you.
God first showed the threat of pride in me. Due to that, I had to face difficulty for a long time. In Europe, cosmetics spend 20 billion and cosmetic surgery at 3 billion euros and balance health products 30 billion and 3 crores. It shows how much money we spend on our appearance. Hurry is not beautiful.
What is beauty It is not a physical condition? It is found in our hearts. Although it is a humble beauty, it is not valuable in my business. Honors and satisfaction are beautiful. God's beauty brings beauty because knowing that he loves us and accepts us, in our lives, satisfaction and respect are born. As a result, we freely accept our own mistakes and love ourselves.
Without God's forgiveness, sin makes our soul worse. We do not live in satisfaction. We can not change the world's treatments. God will see them as others see. Only our ethics can make us beautiful in God's sight. Realistic beauty starts with God from the center of our lives to the outside.
God! I need you. Thank you for knowing my steps for my sins!
I open my door and accept you as my Savior and God. Thank you for giving me eternal life and forgiving my sins!
Take my life in your control and make me the person you want to make.
If this prayer reflects your sincerity, then you can pray for this prayer and God will be in your life according to your promise.