Shahzeb Awan - All i am doing is telling a story

(Ahmad Rajput, Karachi)

When I Young I was able to improve pretty quickly in every activity I took interest in and was always a bit better than the people around me. If I wasn’t the best player, I believed I was at least right behind them in second place.

I had always been a competitive person and cared a lot about winning in the things I was good at.

Videogames And Films have played a huge part in my life, from learning new words to exploring Cinematic Worlds, and if these Films are made by humans then why can’t I produce such Cinema ?

I Strive to become the best at my game and make sure everyone knows it. Sometimes I’ve spent days on the editing table to produce a single video and if I’m not able to finish on time because of some lame I start to loose my mind

Looking back, I was a good student in primary school and a problematic one but my high school was a torture I don't want to make this too long. I feel like a broken record because really all I talk about is how much I despise high school, but, seriously. My hatred for it consumes my every day. When I'm not in school during weekends and breaks and such, I'm decently happy and can actual form decent memories. When I'm in school, I seriously cannot even describe the dread I feel. It's an overwhelming sense of just how useless all of it is. The homework, the grades, the social aspect, the everything. It's all so miserable and suffocating. I was failing 3/6 subjects every year I seriously cannot even look at the books.It was a nightmare

I told myself that if I tried hard and “applied myself”, I could probably get high grades, just like my other friends, but I just didn’t care about school. This is all boring, I’d tell myself. If only I could find something I was actually interested in. I could flourish and show everyone what I am capable of. Too bad they only keep teaching me all these useless things. It’s not my fault that I’m doing badly, it’s the school system. They don’t cater to the students and try to find out what we want.

In those days, I did not even realize what was happening to me. I did not know that all of my actions stemmed from an insecurity that I had. The imposter syndrome was defining the trajectory of my life.

I was scared to fail, because I thought innately smart kids did not fail at all. They were supposed to be successful at everything they did. Then I start working on Craft that what actually I want to do and what I am really good in and I realized that the since I was a child I always had a camera in my hand whenever we went outside and that toot me me to the media studies, but what I was scared about is how I am going to tell my parents about that and what will they say about it and thanks to god they both were very supportive in fact they had no other choice, and my friends they are also with me through thick and thin.

I got admission in Iqra university in media science department it was a turning point of my life I learned a lot of new things related to my field and start polishing my skills and I am still working on it with that I started my YouTube channel because I don’t want to give myself any excuse that I’m not Creating anything.

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23 Dec, 2019 Views: 355


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