When I saw him for the first time, he was just Majazi, not Khuda.
Stylish young man with enchanting green eyes and fair complexion. He was staring directly into my eyes and entering my heart. My breaths became like stairs and he was getting lost in my blood as he stepped on them. I looked at him sharply but it ultimately had no effect on him. He kept staring at me, I averted my gaze and set his photo aside. And took a deep breath, who knows how many girls must be dreaming of making him theirs, they must want to dedicate their boat of life to him. But he was going to be my navigator.
Then he saw my picture. Who knows how many boys must be dreaming of her, may be he thought the same as well. Then who knows what must have made him refuse.
“ Why did you refuse the first time? “I once asked him. He replied that “ I could not tolerate the thought of tying a girl’s life to my name and making her sit idle."
“ Then what have you done now? “ But I was left just thinking. I was afraid to speak, lest sanam get upset. He was very handsome but what use was he to me? Even if he wasn’t that handsome… even if he were poor but he would be with me، by my side.\
His steps were also green, like his eyes. When they landed on the soil of my heart, thorns were sown everywhere. Every bud that sprouted there was burnt to ashes before it could even bloom.
The one with eyes like crystal, spread shards under my feet instead of the stars. Even though he was mine, he was not truly mine and even though I wasn’t with him, physically by his side, I was always his, had always been his.
I made him my god and worshiped him day and night. And I did not think that God would never leave His servants alone and anyone who does so could not be God. He made me his own and then left, and I didn’t want to lose him, the one who had gotten lost in the crowd of the world.
He remained apart from me as long as he remained a virtual god. The day he became a servant of God and realized his true position, he became my savior. He picked the thorns, shards, pebbles up with his lashes, while picking up my fingers had already been wounded.
The green color of his eyes was lost somewhere. But he was not lost anywhere. He was only mine wherever he was. I just didn't know. I used to feel that, not only he but even God had forgotten me, no one cared about me. He is lost but what had happened to God? Today when I look back, God was never lost. God is not meant to be lost.