When I was young, my father
used to take me on a walk in the evening. While walking, he used to move his
clenched fist towards me, asking me to hold his first finger. I used to hold his
finger and follow the direction in which he walks. Thus, he served as a
guideline and helped me to walk in crowded places.
Same is the case in life. Our parents tend to be a role model and help us
through every matter of life. At every step, we seek their guidance, in every
trouble, we call upon them. As after God, they are our sole strength. Surely,
our parents are the one who always want and require the best of best for us.
Have you ever thought that what do you want to do? What are your objectives and
goals? Who are your role models? By whose support you have been able to lead a
successful life? To whom, most of the decisions of your life are linked? The
common answer to all these queries is “your parents”.
Most of the times, numerous matters and decisions about our life are influenced
by our parents, their thoughts, their experiences and the impact of social and
environmental features on their minds and lives, which later on, also leave a
glimpse on our lives.
We are the inhabitants of an Islamic state. Although every society, community or
religion of the world lays a firm stress upon the respect, honor and dignity of
parents, but Islam has a prominent focus upon this particular aspect. It is in
Qur’an,
“And treat your parents fairly.”
Therefore, in our culture too, parents are held at a high esteem. As mentioned
earlier, every parents of the world want an excellent for their children and
while following this firefly of excellence, they often neglect their children’s
interests especially in countries like Pakistan.
You may have seen around you, especially in an Asian culture, that during the
current age of technology, modernization and success, everyone is in the
struggle to be the pioneer. In this blind race towards success, we have
forgotten our areas of interests. Money-making is becoming the core function of
our lives. Man is devising numerous short-cuts to attain the heaps of
currency-notes, without thinking that short-cuts only lead to temporary
satisfaction. Here, success is only deemed of a white-collard society. The charm
of money is considered the sweetest of all dreams whether the money is coming
from any source.
It is a very common practice now-a-days, that not only we aim to practice the
most money-making profession but also want our children to do the same,
irrespective of their interests of life. Consequently, a child/student either
becomes a rebellion against parents or chooses a field, one dislikes.
The point, I want to manifest here is that, children must be allowed to carry on
and move forward to practice their own areas of interest. Why do we want our
children to be doctors and engineers only? Although this perspective has changed
to a large extent, but there is still a good need to comprehend the situation.
The science of selecting and studying a particular subject or discipline really
matters a lot in terms of the future of a student. Is it better to have a doctor
who becomes unconscious at the operation theatre upon seeing the injuries, or an
artist or a teacher who is best at the performance and has the guts and
abilities to be a Nobel Laureate one day? Surely, the later option will seem
better to you.
Parents must “hold the finger” of their children, but should also consider their
interests. They must hold their finger to show them a right path which leads to
their satisfaction and prosperity, rather to cause an agitation in their minds.
The unconditional love of parents must be implied to find a mutual success,
happiness and peace of mind, for themselves and their children, while selecting
a particular profession.
They often want their children to follow the profession they want. It mostly
results in mal-performance and poor consequences. The child/student, who may be
very bright and shiny in any field of one’s interests, is corroded at mind. Even
if one tries to perform well, the devotion and full-heartedness always lacks.
One is never able to outshine despite the selfless efforts made.
Shakespeare said,
“Choose the work you love, you will never have to work a single day in you
life.”
So, it can be said that, this imposition is fairly wrong that children are
compelled to follow the directions crafted out by their parents or family, in
which they are not interested at all. It is a bitter reality that parents try to
encroach right from their children to decide their future priorities according
to their own will and interests. They should understand that one can perform
well in the field, where the mind finds interest.
Pakistan is a third world country. It needs a fuel of hardworking, industrious,
energetic and capable youth to ignite its engine of success and prosperity to
reach the destination of global recognition as a powerful nation. So, what are
we giving to our nation, our state? An efficient and effective workforce or a
meek labor dissatisfied at mind, who works aimlessly and half heartedly just to
please the family members? It is a point to ponder and an alarming situation in
the current crucial circumstances of our state. It is commonly observed that
people in our country, or widely speaking, in Sub-continent or Asia, think for
individual benefits and interests. Nation building thoughts are merely lacking
and if exist, do not have an influence over a wider span. To lead our nation and
country towards the road of prosperity, we must think for the collective
benefits. If an individual is successful, satisfied and progressing, a nation
would be a progressive one.
It is a recognized fact that man gets the same for which he tries to get. Now,
kindly think over it. Will one try to achieve a thing he/she is not interested
in? Will one perform a certain task for the sake of others, if it does not
render any fruitful results, even done with full zeal and zest? Not at all.
There will be difference; an apparent and striking difference of thought and
performance.
Now the question is, why this all is happening? Why the students are forced and
compelled to follow the paths, they don’t even want to step upon? The most
probable answer to it is the lack of a proper communication and the existence of
a wide generation gap between the parents and children. Today’s human being is
frustrated. To get rid of this frustration and tension, one wants to hold a sole
authority. This authoritarian style, a bossy and monopolistic attitude and an
urge to lead everyone and every matter of life, has made the behaviors very
rigid and harsh. Parents don’t want to understand their children and children
don’t want to follow their parents. Our attitudes are no more flexible towards
life.
I don’t want to put a critical note and strong condemnation over the part of
parents as they can never think wrong for their children. Every parent in the
world has own way of expressing affection, care and love for their children. If
they are strict, children must not take them of wrong consideration, rather
should try to explain them, their purview. Parents should also provide
sufficient room to their children to have a right of say for their present and
future, as anything lacking interest and vigor cannot render profitable upshots.
Why to go so far? I give you my own example. I am a student of BBA (Honors),
under the discipline of Banking and Finance. People use to dream of this field.
They feel a pride to be a part of this growing corporate sector. But what to do
of a mind which is plunged in colors instead of counting the currency notes?
What to do of a heart which urges on to draw, paint and create rather than to
analyze the trends of stock markets? What to do of fingers which exhort to hold
a paint-brush or a pencil to sketch, rather than to quiver on the keyboard from
9 to 5? What to do of a soul which finds serenity in a literary conversation or
a society instead of handling a tricky business? Does anybody have an answer?
Probably not. I have become a sort of a creature who sits in a class of
“Financial Analysis” to analyze the annual reports of a maize company. I think
of the beauty of the corn, nature has bestowed to it, instead to cogitate on the
revenue generated by the organization through processing and selling out this
corn. Hence, it can be said that it is merely a matter of interest.
Here I quote a famous proverb:
“A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.”
It clearly explains its meanings in itself that instead of running after the
abdicable goals and to achieve nothing, it is better to attain an admirable
level by following the desired directions whole heartedly. Nothing in this
universe has been created in vain. The need of the hour is just to unveil the
hidden capabilities in any person. To narrow-up the wide distances of
communication and to squeeze the generation gap by the mutual understanding of
both the parents and children is vitally essential. Behaviors must be very
flexible to survive as a prosperous society and a healthy nation at mind.
Anything done with hard work and devotion always yields success. Hence it is
better to let the children do what they are interested in, on the other hand to
see them as a failure, which no parents in the world want. Parents must be a
friend, a guideline and a helping source in themselves rather than being a
severe critic. Children must feel free to discuss any of their issues with them
instead of being reluctant, hesitant and frightful while talking to their own
beloved parents. Parents must be at a place of honor where the children always
look for them and seek their guidance and positive help to say:
“Papa, hold my finger.”