TIPS OF HAPPINESS
PROF WAQAR HUSSAIN 14/29-A SAMANABAD LAHORE
Dalai Lama said: “The purpose of our lives is to be happy”. Everyone has the
sole destinations to acquire the state of happiness. But the meaning of
happiness are different for everyone; for poet it comes by writing a poem;
cricketer scoring a century, a businessman earning dollars, a patient
recovering, a person getting rid of a nuisance guest, school boy on announcement
of vacation, woman finishing her cooking, etc. In sum, it is the feeling of
inner peace, meeting of inner desire and satisfaction attained at the end of
worries, fears or obsessing thoughts.
Globally, people are loosing happiness. A survey was conducted in 1950’s in USA;
53% reported to be happy but in 1990’s, it came down to 30%. So every third
person in USA is happy which is highly educated, economically prosperous,
politically stable, socially equitable and above all a super power. What will
the plight of poor, developing and backward countries? In this alarming low
profile of gladness, one should probe the factor which brings happiness in a
society. Also attempt to diagnose the factors which kill the happy moments.
1: TRUST: There are only 30% trustworthy people in USA as compared to 60% some
40 years ago. In Scandinavian countries, the level of trust is over 60% and that
is why they are the happiest persons on the globe. Trust is an important
ingredient of ethics, and originates from love and moral values. How an infant
baby laughs when her mother throws him upwards in sky. His trust makes him
laugh. Paul young said: “trust is the fruit of relationship in which you know
you are loved.” Then trust comes from truth and also ends with it.
2: ECONOMIC PROSPERITY: Richer individuals tend to be happier than poor ones.
Prosperity brings happiness and adversity disrupts it. Jan Austin said: “A large
income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.” In daily life, we see
the poor abusing, yelling, fighting, and even killing on the issues where riches
pass away smilingly.
3: DOING GOOD: Virtues are the best way to assure happiness. People who care
about others are happier than those who care less about others.
Be a giver, it a divine trait and bring happiness. Once a millionaire came to
Sigmund Freud and said: “I am not happy in spite of having too much wealth.”
Freud advised him to spend 100 marks, buy flowers and distribute them among
children and widows. The millionaire came back to Freud after 2 or 3 weeks and
said, “His life had been filled with happiness following your prescription.” You
can also try this formula of probity and can witness the blessing of giving.
Gandhi said: “Happiness depends on what you can give, not what you can get”.
Similarly Ben Carson says: “Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from
what we give.”
A survey was conducted on blood donors and they were divided into two groups;
paid and unpaid. Astonishingly volunteer decided to give blood more frequently.
This survey reminded me Lydia M. Child’s words: “An effort made for the
happiness of others lifts above ourselves.”
4: PHILOSOPHY OF MIND: “Think healthy to live healthy” is and aged long formula.
There must be a vivid philosophy of life. Any ambiguity in objectives creates
confusion which leads to depression. A survey was conducted in 1960 in USA that
showed 65% students had meaningful philosophy of life. In a recent survey, this
figure how fallen to 45%.
Marcus Aurelius says: “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of
your thoughts.” A person with clear headed aim and objective leads a pleasurable
life. So clarity of thought, objective, and actions are essential to acquire
happiness.
Mental health is deteriorating all over the world. In Britain, emotional problem
are twice as high as were in the 1970’s. New psychological therapies like
cognitive behavioral therapy can transform lives. Within a span of 4 months, 50%
of depression patient recovered dramatically. A strange experiment was conducted
that showed individuals with positive outlook were less likely to get flue when
exposed to the virus. It shows mental health strengthen body’s physiology.
5: MENTAL ATTITUDE: Mental approach is an essential component to gain bliss.
Always be positive and looks at the brighter side of the things as the mind
often takes one to negative, darker side. One should undergo mental exercise
described by the psychological to train mind to always tilt towards brighter
aspect of things. Sometime, one spends all the day successfully, achieving many
targeted goals but in the evening instead of feeling satisfied and happy, one
looks at what was not carried on and thus feel unhappy. This distress is the out
come of faulty approach of mind. On going to bed, never think about the
unfinished tasks of the day. If the full day’s work has not accomplished them,
then on the bed, nothing can be achieved. So there is no need to get worry. Shed
away all tensions and go to sleep with blank mind. It will bring a proper sound
sleep which is good for mental well being. Dale Carnegie says: “Happiness
doesn’t depend on any external condition; it is governed by our mental
attitude.”
6. SUCCESS: Success brings happiness surely. Man is always working to get
reward. Achievement is the outcome of judgment of circumstances, proper
planning, hard work and prayer. Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “Happiness lies in
the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” If someone doesn’t
get success then he should learn lesson from the history which is teeming with
the examples of try, try again. For an instant, Edison carried on more than 2000
experiments and finally succeeded in inventing electric light bulb. Failure
excites hidden qualities of a man and behind every failure, there is a message
that something was missing in the effort. So, there is no need to become
pessimistic on failure but prepare you for more valiant and faultless attempt.
Have you ever pondered! Why children are happy? Children have innate nature of
facing failure and committing follies without any regret. We, the elders,
suppose ourselves to be a perfect individuals who never commit any error, thus
victory is the only ultimate result for us. In fact, the reality is otherwise.
Man is never perfect, flawless, complete and absolute. So: winning or loosing;
success or failure; right and wrong-all are the essential and complementary
ingredients of human beings. One should always think oneself; a human and keep
in mind the Jawaharlal Nehru’s saying: “ Real failure comes only when we forget
our ideals, objectives and principles and begin to wander away from the road
which leads to their realization”.
7. EXPECTATIONS: Expectation brings greater amount of depression and lesser
happiness. When your expectation is sky-high, you are destined for
disappointment. So always bring your expectations to a pragmatic manageable
level. Simone Elkeles has correctly advised: “Expectation make people miserable,
so whatever yours are, lower them. You will definitely be happier.”
8. COMPANY OF JOVIAL PERSONS: Happy man’s company brings happiness. A research
was conducted which showed that happiness of close contact increase the chance
of being happy by 15%. So, a group of sincere jolly friends make life joyful and
fill with contentment. Surround yourself with cheerful individuals. It is easy
to think negatively in the coterie of negative people. Conversely, if you are
enclave by happy people, their buoyant and joyful emotion will trigger your
blissful thoughts. Keep in mind, happiness is infectious and pleasant feeling
easily contracts the near ones. Oscar Wilde articulates: “some cause happiness
wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
9. FRIENDS: Friends are the greatest assets and blessing. One can share with
them that he cannot with others so they are the gizmo of catharsis. Their help,
advice, consolation and criticism are all beneficial in one way or other. So
have a company of good friends to ensure happiness. Epicurus believed: “of all
the means to insure happiness throughout the whole life, by far the most
important is the acquisition of friends”.
10. PROBE YOUR INNERSELF: William Arthur Ward said: “Happiness is an inside
job.” So, one should understand self desires as every body has his own peculiar
needs and requirement for gaining solace and happiness. A thing makes someone
happy, it is not necessary that it will do the same to others. Reveal your inner
self and visit internal dark recesses of your mind and explore the need of your
sub-conscious and then act accordingly to fulfill those needs. About 40% of
one’s happiness level is within one’s control. Helen Keller has truly said:
“Happiness doesn’t come from without, it comes from within.”
11. HEALTH IS WEALTH: Health plays a vital role in attaining happiness. A detail
of chemicals which triggers happiness are explained in detail in article:
“Happiness; an outcome of chemistry.”
Andrew Step tow and Michael Marmont disclosed that happiness is correlated with
three biological markers that play a pivotal role in maintaining good health and
pleasing mood. They conducted a research survey in London on 216 middle aged
persons with a view to find linkage between well being and biological markers;
heart rate, Cortisole level and Fibrinogen level in blood.
They found unhappy persons had 48% higher cortisole level than the happier ones.
They also get to know that unhappy individuals had higher fibrinogen level. Both
repeated their research after three years and found that persons with positive
emotions had lower cortisole level, fibrinogen level and heart rate. From their
research, it can be concluded that happiness is the result of low level of these
three biological markers. In another research, Frey disclosed that happy person
lives 14% longer and have 7.5 to 10 years move life span. It shows happiness
increases longevity and one remembers two old maxims; cat has nine lives and
care killed a cat. It means worries have taken life of that animal which was
hard to kill. George William Curtis has precisely said: “Happiness lies, first
of all, in health”.
12. EXERCISE: Exercise is a mood booster and known to release endorphin that
gives feeling of happiness. Americans are among the happier nations. One reason
behind this joyfulness is their habit of exercise. Once there were 160 members
of parliament of Florida, you will astonish to know that 132 were member of
different Jims and 28 used to jog daily for an hour. Overall in USA, 98% members
of parliament of all states are accustomed to regular exercise. Americans
believe that one who does not exercise, is not serious in politics and a
politician who doesn’t care himself, how can he care for his country? In a
research in USA, a chart of habits of 1000 successful business, they had 23
common habits, you will astonish to know that in 23 common habits, 5th was the
habit of exercise. Furthermore, Americans are the most buyers of exercise
machines; greatest user of food supplements and had the largest number of Jims.
There are special channels for exercise only. In sum, America has almost turned
into an exercise industry.
Other nation, especially, developing should follow suit. Exercise is the best
tool to maintain health and ultimately happiness. A famous Urdu writer Shafiqu
er Rehman writes in an article: “If you have been failed in examination then
undergo pushups soon you will ease out. Similarly, if you are betrayed by your
girl friend then go for jogging,… etc.” Probably he was aware of the importance
of physical exercise and had come to know its effects on human mind.
13. NOVELTY: Novelty is the key of happiness. Man often get bore due to
monotony. The brain stimulates by surprise, unexpected scenario, new ideas and
novo stuff. Pliny says: “Human nature is greedy for novelty”. South says:
“Novelty is the great parent of pleasure”. So, one should get ride of routine
practices and indulge in new activities to quench the thirst of newness oriented
mind.
14. BE SATISFIERS, NOT MAXIMIZERS: Be satisfiers, not maximizer. There are two
types of decision makers; Satisfiers who make decision on the criteria they set
themselves. When they find the hotel that has the qualities they want, they are
satisfied. They are selective in their approach. However, maximizers want to
make best possible decision, near to perfection and follow the principle of
aristos(the best possible decision). If they find the hotel having requirement
they need, they still search for an ideal hotel and search every available
option. Their too much anxiety about perfection makes there unhappy. In fact,
nothing is complete in all respect and lacuna is a universal principle. Rather
one should go for his need which can be fulfilled.
15. HEALTHY FOOD: Food is an important factor of happiness. Improper food leads
to a wide range of maladies and thus opens the gate of worries. Food is not just
to fill stomach or to appease the lust of tongue. One should follow Chinese
criteria of good food: tasty, good looking and have valuable effects. Food can
be classified into two group according to their ingredients; energy provider
(carbohydrate, protein and fat) and body regulator (vitamins, minerals, water
and fiber). Among regulators vitamins and minerals are essential for brain
chemistry and body’s proper functioning. Both are complementary part of all
biochemical pathway which leads to synthesis of neurotransmitters which help to
determine our mood. Fruits, vegetables, milk, egg yolk, liver, cod liver oil are
rich in vitamins and minerals. The person who eats vegetable, fruits and milks
have pleasant mood due to his proper physical strength.
16: BALANCED IN ACTIVITY: Art Book Wild, one of the most read columnist of USA,
said: “A man comprises of three things; Body, mind and soul. We undergo exercise
to keep body healthy; we read to sharpen brain but we usually forgets soul. We
do nothing to enliven and sharpen it. In spite of the fact, the roots of our
body and mind are pegged in soul. I am not a religious man but I consider
‘exercise’ to be meditation of body; ‘study’ the meditation of mind and
‘philanthropy’ the meditation of soul. I spend money, earned from 450
newspapers, on my personal life whereas spend money, got from 150 newspapers, in
charity, I award scholarship to students, free treatment, manage homeless people
and help calamity hit victims. This is my meditation and I am a very happy
person.” So, there must be a balance in the activities of body, mind and soul to
ensure happiness.
17. SELF TRAINING: William James, psychologist and disciple of Sigmund Freud,
said: “ with every emotion of man, an action is related. For example, If he is
in sorrow, he weeps; if happy, he laughs; in anger, shouts; in love, kisses; in
fear, ran away, etc. He further adds that if a man can revert and repeats action
related to any emotion. After a few minutes, that emotion will emerge. For
example, if someone starts shouting and poses to be in anger sooner he will be
really in rage. If someone acts as if he is happy and starts laughing. Sooner
his mood will be transformed pleasant and joyful.”So, one can undergo training
of molding one’s mood and should practice posing of happiness. Out of the 50%
happiness level, 10% are affected by circumstances and 40% on self control
according to Sonja Lyubomirsky
18. MEDITATION: Meditation has been found to bring high activity in the brain’s
left prefrontal cortex which in turn has been found to correlate with happiness.
Philosophers are of the view that man feels hiatus, even after attaining all
worldly things and this lacuna can only be filled by meditation. Meditation
shifts responsibilities and liabilities of a man towards The Greater Being and
lessen his burden. Meditation also evokes hope of well being and this hope
generates happiness. Goethe says: “In all things it is better to hope than to
despair”. Meditation also eliminates fear of man. Fear of losing life, honor,
property, health, etc is attached to every individual. Every body owes some kind
of fear and thus it blocks the flow of happiness. The best way to ward off
unknown fear is the subjugation to God .According to M. Gandhi: “Let us fear
God; and we shall cease to fear man”.
A research was conducted on psycho patients, divided into two groups; those who
were in habit of adoration in the midnight .Other were away from any kind of
meditation. Doctor found accelerated recovery in patient fond of Divine Service
.Meditation not only enrich a person spiritually but also regulate his mind and
body, thus fill his life with happiness. The Quran says:” The remembrance of God
brings peace in heart.” God is man’s need that is why Voltaire once said: “If
God doesn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”
19: ACTIVITY Once I read a journal of psychology when I was doing B.Sc from F.C.
College Lahore and line, of a happiness related article, struck in my mind. It
was, secret of happiness is activity. From that day, I started enjoying by
adopting appropriate activities. I started to visit Laurence Garden (Bagh-e-Jinnah)
during spring. The towering green trees, fragrant colourful flowers, singing
birds, multi-colored tiny insects, exercising athletes-all amused me by one way
or other. Later, I kept on adopting different activities to bring joy. Even in
phases of loneliness, I started playing card game “patience” and so on. I will
advise you to adopt any apposite activity either recreational or occupational.
Thomas Jefferson analyzed: “It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility
and occupation which give you happiness.” Further there is an Urdu adage: Farigh
dimagh sheetan ka ghar hotta hay (idle mind is the abode of the devil.)
Aristotle prudently said: “Happiness is a state of activity.”
20. RELIGION: Religious people are mostly happy. It may be the result of
community membership, harmony of ideology, sense of congregational security,
rituals, belief in religion, good deeds, etc. Meditational aspect of religion
has already been discussed.
Religious doctrine describe different recipe for happiness. For example a famous
Muslim saint Iman Ghazali wrote” alchemy of happiness” containing a manual of
spiritual instruction to attain peace and tranquility. His recipe is being
practiced widely in the Muslim world.
In Bhuddhism, the acquisition of happiness is the prime object after getting
freedom from suffering. It advises the noble Eightfold Path to reach a state of
everlasting peace which they refer as Nirvana.
Thomas Aquinas says that man’s last end is happiness and it could only be
achieved from virtues. Natural law and divine laws are caused by God.
Chinese thinker Mencius was convinced that the mind played a mediating role
between the lesser self (psychological self) and the greater self (moral self)
and that getting the priorities between these two would lead to saga-hood.
Aristotle believed that happiness is the practice of virtue. Similarly George
Washington said: “Human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.” For
me: “there is micro octave (note of music) of an individual and macro octave of
nature, both must synchronize by constructive interference to become a perfect
duet of melodious song of true, real and everlasting happiness.”
21: AVOID AWFUL CHARACTERS: Abominable characters are present in every society.
They are negative, insatiable, criticize bluntly, put remarks ruthlessly, talk
only about your weak aspects, spread distress and emanate negative magnetic
waves, thus in a jiffy, they can turn a laughing individual to a morose one.
There is only one viable solution for such people to hire a taxi and drive far
away or make your self strong and shut their mouth without loosing your
temperament and jolly disposition. Brain L Weiss advises: “you become vulnerable
and can easily hurt when your feeling of security and happiness depend on the
behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”
22. LOVE, LOVE AND LOVE: Love other and they will love you. Love is the
strongest factor of happiness. You feel happy in your family as they love you.
You feel happy in you friends because they love you. You feel happy in your
country as your countryman loves you. So live to love and you will love to live.
Do you know love has no tongue, yet it can talk; love has no voice, yet it can
be heard; love has no body, yet it can be seen; love has no fragrance, yet it
can be smelt and love has no warmth, yet it can be felt?.... Love emanate
through the sixth corridor of sense.
George Sand has endorsed my view point, he says: “There is only one happiness in
this life; to love and be loved.” So, right from today adopt aged long slogan in
letter and spirit: “Love for all, hatred for none.” Be a spring to gush out the
water of love and people will pay back in the same coin and you will be happy.
Sri Chinmoy says: “I am very happy because I have conquered myself and not the
world. I am very happy because I have loved the world and not my self.”
23: FIRST ENDURE THEN FORGET: Forget the things which are beyond your control.
In life, you encounter many issues, situations and events for which you have no
answer. There are two responses to such awful happening; one is to keep on
beating you chest and cry. Other is to try to endure and forget .Which cannot be
cured; must be endured. Both responses are painful and agonizing but the latter
is bit lesser.
24: SELIGMAN’S FORMUL: Psychologist Martin Seligman summarized tools of
happiness in acronym PERMA (pleasure, engagement, relationship, meaning of life
and accomplishment.) Apparently the formula looks marvelous, let have a try!
25: U SHAPED PATH OF HAPPINESS: Happiness follow U shaped path during the life
cycle. One is happier when young and old and least happy in middle age. In the
prime of youth, one is brimming with hopes, emotions, ambitions, energy and
achievements are great so one’s spirit soars sky high. In middle age,
responsibilities, liabilities and objectives remain the same but hope, emotion,
ambition, energy, etc. start to decline. That is why a person becomes unhappy.
Man takes long to realize the fact and accept the truth that he is not younger
and juvenile as before. Until realization, one remains in doldrums and distress.
Then nature forcibly tells him the reality. When one grew old, one has no
powers, no responsibilities, no accountability, no ambitions, etc. One just has
to kill the time by different engagements. Above all one realizes a bigger truth
that life is transitory, and we are just travelling on train through the cities
of life; thus seeing, observing and analyzing become the sole goal of life. Man
starts examining every thing happening around him with great zeal and zest and
ultimately gets highest level of happiness .And we all knows finishing bites of
chocolate taste more. So he starts enjoying every bit of life.
Be a human always thing that you are a human being and you will feel happiness
and sorrow; solaces and pains; respect and insult; acceptance and rejection;
good and bad; health and disease; right and wrong; best luck and hard luck, etc
.Once Hasina Moin, a famous Urdu drama writer said, “Life is a long journey
through unseen paths, where you encounter sweat water spring and filthy puddles.
You have to drink a sip from both.” This is the realization one has to develop
and it ensures you greater happiness’s and awards you courage to face the odd
situation.