Should you die while stuck on
Hold, your confused spirit can loop indefinitely within the phone tree. Hold
music continues unabated? You’re already in Hell. Breathe your last while
waiting to speak to a supervisor? Please press Three, because the angels of
universal customer service sympathize with your sorrows. They’re committed to
your next life’s satisfaction. If you’re coming back, that is. Check our
automated list. Not the same outcomes for everyone, old chum. I’m sorry, we
didn’t understand your last response. Sorry but our algorithm can only do so
much after paramedics find your body pressing zero. Pound. Goodbye.