An Orphan

(FAIZA RIAZ, karachi)

His hands are trembling as he is holding the baby of 5 days with difficulty but making sure not to drop the baby as he moves forward dragging his feet against the rough surface on the sidewalk making sure to hide the baby inside the cloth draped on him so no one could see what he is holding on his hands on 3 am at night. He could hear the sound of dogs barking far away and shadows of junkies as he tries to pass by them quietly and head towards his destination. The tears are streaming down his face as he’s trying to control the sob that’s trying to break through his body but couldn’t stop himself as he sobs trying to muffle the sounds so the few shadows lurking in the dark at the corner of street couldn’t hear or detect him.He finally reaches there and could see the wooden cot beside the closed door of the orphanage. He can still remember that day just 5 days ago now it’s like it’s been years since then, the day where his beautiful wife died giving birth to her daughter, she died because of him she was too weak at that time and because he couldn’t provide her proper meals a day just because he was unable to take care of her. It’s his fault that her wife died and after that left this beautiful angel all to himself to take care of. It was difficult to come out of that grief but he has come to his senses to take care of the only thing left behind of her wife, his daughter. As days passed he still couldn’t make money out of the multiple jobs he does from polishing shoes of others to lifting heavy carts he still couldn’t make much to buy those costly powder milk for her daughter and as he has to go for job he has to take her with him because it was too risky to leave her behind but the baby couldn’t stop crying because the only meal she got was cereal and water lots of water to drink but what she wanted was her mother so she couldn’t stop crying since days. He knew he can’t take care of her like this, he has to let her go she deserves much better life than this, a better future,a mother. He didn’t want to do this but he knows he has to for her, for her wife, he can’t lose her like he lost his wife.He weeps and sobs loudly because he’ll always be a monster to her daughter which he never wanted her to remember him like that.

Present.

His hands tremble while doing this horrendous thing to his own daughter but he knows he has to do this it’s the only choice he has.He knows it’s time to say goodbye as tears are streaming down his face as he showers her 5 days old daughter with kisses and holds her for dear life and remember or even engrave his mind from this feeling of holding his angel for one last time as he has to let go her now for forever, for her, for her future as she deserves better, better than she has now and puts her gently into the and cot and drapes a blanket on her with one last kiss on her forehead and walks away not looking behind as he knows he won’t be able to stop himself from breaking down. He walks away forgetting that the innocent baby needs nothing in this world more than her father’s love that that’s the only thing she’ll need to survive more than anything, nothing less nothing more and now this innocent life will live her life never knowing the real story of herself of her loving father and mother and will always live hating both of them because it’s them who made her an Orphan.
 

FAIZA RIAZ
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