Aisha, Our first child who didn't deserve us.
(Mujaddid Mujtaba, Karachi)
On the evening of August 5th 2017, my wife had the pain coming; we rushed to hospital where the doctor informed that an emergency operation is essential right away as the baby’s heart beats were too high. We were frightened and excited together, hoping that everything goes well and couldn’t wait to see my first child. Moments later, Aisha was born, 8.5 pounds, she looked exactly like me. The doctor said she was being shifted to ventilator as she had inhaled her own stool before delivery which had affected her respiratory system. The doctor however assured us it happens and hopefully she will be fine the next morning. Family members were delighted to hear the news, her grandmother saw Aisha and told me that she had the same look as you when you were born; the whole house was being decorated to welcome the first daughter of the family. We were receiving calls of congratulations. But our daughter was in pain under ventilator and was far from her mother who hadn’t seen her yet due to the heavy dosage of anaesthesia which woke her up a while after Aisha was shifted to ventilator.
At midnight, the doctor had called me to witness the regular tests of Aisha including glucose, which thankfully were good for a new born. We were relieved that our daughter would be with healthy and be with us soon. As we both hadn’t had anything to eat, i got us some dinner and started recalling the whole situation.
As the clock ticked 3 am, there was a firm knock at the door of our private room, the nurse who was with Aisha had asked me to show up at the CCU. Her face had no expressions as she started to tell me that Aisha’s heartbeats were decreasing, and that the child specialist was on its way to hospital to monitor the situation himself. I was speechless and couldn’t do anything but to pray for our child’s healthy recovery. With a bright face i returned to my wife, that her daughter was on medications and the doctors are trying their best to make her recover soon.
As the clock ticked at 4, there was another knock at the door, this time it was harder than before. I was shivering as the Doctor had called me up at the CCU. He made me sat in front of him, and took me through the whole story of how Aisha was born and what complications she was facing since then. He very carefully told me that her heart beats are decreasing, and so is the glucose level. She couldn’t survive the post operation stress and had inhaled some of the stool passed prior to the delivery resulted in her lungs being affected and failure of her respiratory system. And then the most painful words i had to hear were i am sorry but i don’t think she will survive. I had tears in my eyes, my lips were sealed, i couldn’t even move. The only thing i could say to him please do your best to save my child.
It was almost fajar time; i prayed two nafils after for any miracle to happen and returned to CCU to check on Aisha. I saw that she was turned into a doll and there was hardly any life in her. Accepting the painful truth of her leaving us anytime, i told the nurses to wrap her up in clean sheets and bring her to Sabica.
As she held her daughter for the first time, her eyes were full of tears and she worriedly ask why is she here? Why is she here? I assuring replied, so that you can see and feel your daughter as she had to be back on ventilator for a few hours more.
Soon after all family members were informed about her situation and they all rushed to the hospital. All the time there was a question in my mind that how should i inform my wife? How can i tell her that our first child is not anymore with us?
On my request, my mother in law broke the news by firmly holding Sabica’s hands. The whole room was full of screams and tears of pain. She yelled at me that why didn’t you tell me? Tell me that it’s a lie and i could only cry and say that no it’s the truth. Aisha has passed away and that she had gone back to her creator and has secured us a place in Jannat. I had always thought that going to hospital and getting the baby delivered is something everyone can do. But what i witnessed is something i would never want any parent to be to experience. It was indeed the most painful moment of my life. I never felt so helpless in my life. I just pray to Almighty that HE blesses us with her presence again in our life. Ameen.