Excellent Article on Father Vs
Son Resposibilities & Ills of the Society
A Must Read for All ! Article by Tariq Butt in 'The News' issue of the 11th June
2012.
ISLAMABAD: After the implication of the son of iconic Chief Justice Iftikhar
Muhammad Chaudhry in a despicable mega fraud, a debate has started in almost
every household about the fundamental responsibilities, obligations and duties
of fathers to save them from such evil pursuits.
Indeed, it is also time for soul-searching about the handiwork of the talented
scions, nephews, brothers, close family members and intimate friends of highly
placed relatives, pretending to be or acting as their front men (or more crudely
touts), and indulging in massive corruption as a whole that is sucking the blood
of the society to the last drop.
There are sons; there are nephews; and there are brothers, family members and
friends who make their living this way, unfortunately. The malaise is too
common, too devastating. Indeed, the society is comprehensively afflicted by the
virus of corruption and low morality, increasingly so in the past five years.
There is corruption in Behaviour of children direct result of both lack of and
too much parental intervention; Jinnah, Marx couldn’t save their familial
relationships; Islamic history replete with examples that sons don’t follow in
fathers’ footsteps; Holy Quran, Ahadith say individuals are responsible for
their own actions; in most countries, parental responsibility ends when child
turns 18; top judge’s record testament to his upright character; superior
judiciary has improved hundred-fold owing to CJ’s abhorrence to corruption, more
aggressive today than ever; but bribery remains hard reality in Pakistan; why
did CJ ignore his son’s ability to amass construction, telecom empire with 400
employees and worth Rs900m in just 3 years?
But if a son is corrupt or fraudulent, does it automatically mean the father is
also bad and the vice versa? A natural answer is: it isn’t and it shouldn’t be.
Islamic history is full of examples to reinforce this point. The son of Prophet
Hazrat Noah (AS) didn’t listen to him, didn’t have faith, and till the last day
didn’t listen to his father about the great flood and Allah’s message and
warning. Does that make the prophet a flawed father? Certainly not.
Similarly, the wife of Prophet Hazrat Lut (AS) betrayed his teachings.
But does that mean he should be blamed? Definitely not.
The parents of Prophet Hazrat Ibrahim (AS) believed in idol worship.
But can their sons be blamed for that? Surely not.
But it also generally happens that when sons live independent lives or are
grown-up, it becomes quite difficult for fathers to aggressively guide, educate
and train them there exists a strong possibility that young men would
assertively defy any saner advice, based on experience.
As boys and girls turn 18 in most countries, the parents have no authority to
question or guide them or even prevent them from wrongdoings. An American
university recently told a Pakistani father that it would not send his over
18-year old son’s progress report to him without the boy’s signatures. The
father protested, but in vain.
It is a fact that there are times when certain behaviours of children are a
direct result of lack of attention of parents or their too much intervention.
It, however, raise the questions: at what point and in what areas can parents be
blamed for the conduct of their children or can’t be held responsible? What do
the boundaries of culture, psychology, law and religion teach about these
important questions?
A predominant majority of the nation believes in the hearts of its hearts that
the chief justice is innocent in the present sorry saga involving property mogul
Malik Riaz Hussain. The top judge’s track record, life, character and judicial
career make this crystal clear again and again. Had he been the type of person
who could be bought, he would not have had a problem with Pervez Musharraf and
would not have risked everything, teaching a nation of yes men how to say a
resounding no.
But despite all our genuine love for what chief justice stands for,
accountability, certain pertinent questions have to be asked.
In the initial proceedings of the unique suo moto case, he said swearing on the
Holy Quran that he didn’t know what business Arsalan was doing. The young man is
recently married for the second time in Lahore as the earlier wedlock reportedly
broke down.
Importantly, in just three years, from seeking a job in the FIA, the young man
is now owning and managing construction, engineering and telecom company having
400 employees, which is valued at Rs900 million according to his own account.
One sincerely believes what the chief justice said with apparent agony but one
would still ask why he, as a towering father, didn’t keep a closer tab on the
sprawling business and other activities of his eldest son?
During judicial proceedings and elsewhere, Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry laudably
teaches the principles of accountability, merit and values that are dear to
everyone and which are ordained in the Holy Quran and Sunnah. But he was unable
to strictly follow them in his own family’s case, in his own house. Isn’t it?
The love for the gallant chief justice is beyond an iota of doubt because he has
set examples and precedents for the nation to follow but we must ask all fathers
questions so that we learn not to make mistakes about our children’s profitable
dealings and activities.
True, Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry was undeniably making tireless efforts of
dealing with the unending issues of corruption, missing persons, and societal
injustices, trying to rectify by working 18 hours a day, but still one is
constrained to ask: had he not been a better, watchful father and parent at home
by asking questions to his son precisely as he fires hundreds of queries inside
the court.
Why didn’t he ask his son what was he doing for his livelihood and how has he
amassed a huge wealth? When the chief justice listens to hundreds of people in
his court, couldn’t he hear bone-chilling whispering in at least half of
Islamabad about his son’s reputation?
It is an undeniable fact that the superior judiciary has improved 100 times than
before courtesy of Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry’s abhorrence to corruption. The
judges have never been so independent, never so aggressive against the status
quo, against all-powerful people in Pakistan and against all equally — the
government, the opposition, the military and the business community and foreign
influences.
An unprecedented history has been written in a short time. But in spite of the
great love for the judiciary it is time to review its shortcomings and gaps that
need to be rectified. It is a hard fact that the judiciary is not fully staffed
and that there are more cases than it can handle with. What are the reasons
behind this?
It is a fact that cases are not heard and judgments not passed in time and that
delays are experienced everywhere driving amazing levels of frustration that
perhaps even lead to corrupt practices. It is also a fact that at least in the
lower courts there is still a lot of corruption. Many guilty parties are not
convicted due to the lethargic or guilty prosecution and tedious process of
evidence gathering?
What are the reasons behind these things and what is the solution? How robust
and tested is the self cleansing process of the judiciary to reduce internal
corruption and bad performance? How many people have been fired or kicked out?
What culture of self regulation, merit and discipline has the judiciary set for
its own, before it tries to influence the culture, values of society? What can
the judiciary fix by itself and what are areas that the government and other
institutions will need to fix?
What are ways to be conscious of this menace? What about parents who end up
either supporting their kith and kin consciously or unconsciously even when they
are committing wrongs and sins?
Psychologically what creates these blind spots and how can the parents avoid
them? How does one balance the duty to the public and his or her job vis-à-vis
the duty to his or her child?
People cynically say hire a judge, not a lawyer; they say only after greasing
the palms can anything really move in Pakistan. It is something normal that
powerful people are either themselves corrupt or are surrounded by those who act
on their behalf. It is also common for people to pretend representing the
powerful to pocket illegal benefits and favours.
We should find out the root cause to the disease. What is special in our society
that is causing this effect? Where have we gone wrong as a whole? What are the
reasons that there is corruption in every aspect of life? Why is it that little
shame is felt when it comes to corruption? Why is so that when government
leaders are attacked for corruption by the media they shamelessly say opposition
members also have done so or they say how come you don’t talk about the
corruption of the army and other institutions?
We blame everything to conspiracy and have a culture to use this escapism but
now is the time to face the reality and confront the true ills of society and
culture and ask specific questions openly.
We have very often seen that eminent people, busy in serving the nation and
humanity, end up ignoring their own children, who spoil themselves as is evident
from many examples in our history.
Quaid-i-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah’s daughter got married to a non-Muslim and
that’s why he disowned her. The great modern philosopher Karl Marx couldn’t save
his own daughter — she died due to lack of treatment. The chief justice was also
very busy in dispensation of justice and couldn’t spare enough time for his
children and family but he cannot be held responsible for Arsalan’s actions.
It is a bitter fact that bribery is a hard ground reality in Pakistan.
One cannot even do morally and socially legitimate and legal work without
bribing the concerned people. In Pakistan everyone knows about this pungent
reality and has accepted it, of course barring many exceptions. If you ask any
person trying to get some work done in institutions like police, income tax,
lower courts, custom or any government office, all would complain that they
cannot get anything done merely on the basis of legal rights and have to grease
palms. It is not foreign to any of us that most private companies in Pakistan
keep a budget for bribing purposes and it is considered a routine and a must
expense. Of course, it is extremely shameful.
Malik Riaz treaded the usual and time-tested path without realising that he
would not get the quid pro quo, promised by the talented son, as it was to come
from a person like chief justice. He had two options either to compensate
Arsalan through bribe or get his business destroyed.
As per the Holy Quran, everyone is responsible and accountable for his actions
and nobody else. Ayat 30 of Surah Al Ma’idah says about the murder of a son of
Hazrat Adam (AS) by the other that the (selfish) soul of the other led him to
the murder of his brother: he murdered him, and became (himself) one of the lost
ones.
Hazrat Muawiya has nothing to do with the cruelty and brutality committed by his
son Yazid on Hazrat Hussain (AS) and Ahle Bait.
In this connection, the conversation of Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz with
Musallama bin Abdul Malik about writing will regarding his children during his
illness is very important. Musallama bin Abdul Malik requested him for will in
favour of his children saying that he is leaving them in a state where they have
nothing and it would have been better had you given them something through the
will. Hazrat Umar stated that his “wali” and “wasi” is Allah and if his sons
feared God, he would find some ways for them, and if they committed sins, he
would not make them powerful though his will.
Ayat 286 of Surah Al Baqarah says on no soul doth Allah place a burden greater
than it can bear; it gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill
that it earns.
Surahs 13, 14 and 15 of Surah Al Isra say every man’s fate we have fastened on
his own neck: on the Day of Judgment we shall bring out for him a scroll, which
he will see spread open; (it will be said to him) read thine (own) record;
Sufficient is thy soul this day to make out an account against thee; Who
receiveth guidance, receiveth it for his own benefit, who goeth astray doth so
to his own loss no bearer of burden of another, nor would we visit with our
wrath until we had sent a messenger (to give warning).
Then the meaning of a Hadith is that we leave and abandon anybody disobeying
Allah.
The holy Quran terms children and wealth both as a source of trouble and
blessing. Allah Almighty actually tries His creature by bestowing them with
children and wealth.