10 Tips on How to be a Successful Husband
(Chaudhry Tahir Ubaid Taj, Islamabad)
1.) Dress up for your wife,
look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for
designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she
also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasulullah SAW
would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest
smells.
2.) Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasulullah SAW had nicknames for his
wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her,
and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3.) Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives
until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no
attention from the husband - until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat
her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4.) If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This
is one of the ways Rasulullah SAW used when he would see something inappropriate
from his wives Radiallahu Anhunn. It is something that very few muslim men have
learnt or practice with their wives.
5.) Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is
sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the muslim ummah. Imagine life with her
constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasulullah SAW
would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6.) Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for
example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen
other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is
that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t be that person; thank her!
7.) Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her
happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what makes her
happy. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating
those things in your life.
8.) Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down
upon the requests of their wives. Rasulullah SAW set the example for us in an
incident when Safiyyah RA was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a
slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9.) Be humorous and play games with your wife. Make her laugh, have little
‘inside’ jokes and moments with her. Honestly your wifes laughter is one of the
best sounds in life. Make her smile keep & her happy. Look at how Rasulullah SAW
would race his wife Aisha RA in the desert. When was the last time we did
something like that?
10.) Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger SAW: “The best of you are
those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my
family.” Try to be the best!
Never forget to make dua to Allah SWT to make your marriage successful. And
Allah SWT knows best. :)