Being Introverted: It Isn't A Bad Thing

(Fariya Azhar, Karachi)

"You're so quiet" is something that I'm reminded of every time I meet someone new. What I don't like about hearing that sentence, is that it's always said in a negative way. I'm without a doubt an introvert, and have been labeled as shy for as long as I can remember. I didn't choose to be so shy, and if I could be more extroverted, I would. What I want to say is that being an introvert is not a bad thing.

“I am an introvert. I love being by myself. Love being outdoors. Love taking a long walk with my thoughts and looking at the plants, flowers and sky.”

The people closest to me see me in a different light. I guess I can say that there are very few people who see the "real me". I choose to only show the real me to people who I feel comfortable with. I also know that this is the case with a lot of my friends who are also introverts. It's not that I'm choosing not to speak to someone, I just won't say anything if I don't have anything to say. I am an Artist who loves to live in an imaginary world, a plant lover who deeply enjoys the joy of witnessing blooming flowers and leaves and a philosopher who sometimes go into a very deep conversation that no one can take out her back from there. Being an introvert, doesn’t mean that the person is completely anti-social. I have a huge social circle, an anti-social life, and love to travel. I recently started a new job and worked on many art pages and had a great conversation with one of my coworkers. He never once came up to me to remind me of how quiet I am, but instead just talked to me. I happily conversed back. After later telling me people have told him that I was so quiet, I just explained that I don't usually start conversations. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good chat with someone. I, being an introvert, had a great time talking to him, being an extrovert- even though I didn't initiate anything. I love a good conversation, but starting small talk with when I don't have anything to say is just something I don't do, as well as all the other introverts out there. This isn't because we tell ourselves not to; it's built in our personalities. It was refreshing to see someone understand that just because I'm quiet; it doesn't mean that I just choose not to speak to anyone. As stupid as it might sound, I really appreciated the effort and sympathy.

More often than not, I don't fit in, or hear some bad things about me for being quiet. This is something I have come to accept since shyness is seen as a bad thing. It's honestly just a lack of confidence sometimes, but it's never seen that way. Introverts generally find socializing very exhausting, and as much as we'd like to participate more, we find it really hard to. Talking to unknown people or to the ones with whom I am not comfortable is not the reason of being introverted. In fact, the main reason is that I enjoyed more to be in my imaginary world. I love being by myself.

I have read a book named Quiet, which is great for learning to accept your introverted self. We have a lot of good qualities, but forget that when all we are being told is that we're too quiet. I really recommend this book to any introverts who are constantly being shamed- or shaming themselves for not participating more in social settings.

Being an introvert is not bad. Being an extrovert is not bad either. They are simply personality traits. Being introverted is something apart of me that I can't change, and won't change for the approval of others. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you; it is a normal characteristic to have. For extroverts reading: try starting a conversation with a quiet person. They might appreciate the effort despite them being shy, and you'll be surprised to see how much they have to say.

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04 Apr, 2017 Views: 440

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