It is ing to say that I have one of the prodigious experience of my life in these days.May be it is a blessing in disguise for me rather I should say that I have made it with my efforts. Now when it seems as air is polluted with depression, anxiety,fear, loneliness, frustration,and despondency amidst of all this it is much difficult to keep ourselves calm and auspicious.In order to battle this situation where everyone is enrolling in different online courses relating to study ,art , sketching , language , music , business etc I enrolled myself in a course of one of the prestigious Yale University about "The science of well being and happiness".
This course has given me insight and unfold the true reality of many orthodox concepts about happiness and success.This course was divided into 3 main parts
1 Misperceptions about happiness
2 Annoying features of our mind ( which causes these Misperceptions)
3 Coping strategies.
Before explainin these all points let me tell you that through this course I have learnt with the help of empirical data that people are catagorized itno two types
1 Fixed mindset
I am not wrong if I say that somehow we all fall in this category. This fault is not only on our part but we share it with our parents and teachers. Where both of them polluted our minds with conventional stories of success where all you have to do is to Have good Grades , Have Good Job, Have handsome salary , Marry with perfect life partner etc. and this will be a key to success and happiness.
2 Growth mindset
It is the mind of the people which actually succeed in their lives and unluckily only few people have truely this mindset. People with this mindset have flexibility which entend their horizon and domains beyond our imagination.
1 Misconceptions about happiness
We all in one way or another thought that
Stuff like Clothes,Grades, Partner,Good Amount of salary Secure Future etc is actually what matters. We don't Know that things we care the most only add temporary happiness in our lives and nothing more .There are things which assure lifelong happiness but we don't even consider them.This all happens due to MISWANTING which is defined as not wanting the right thing. This MISWANTING occurs due to the Annoying features of our mind.
( This all is proven by multiple surveys and researches)
2 Annoying features of our mind
.......Most of the time our intuitions are wrong
This is because our mind tricks us.Our mind influences our thoughts, displays distorted picture about the world.Due to this reason it is said that it all depends on our way of looking the world. That's why we think that all that stuff gives us happiness but it is utterly not the case.
" The mind is a useless master and a powerful servant" ....But we have to learn this art.
........ Hedonic Adaptation
And it is one of my favorite concept which defines that no matter whether we have spent decades on achieving something but after sometime we get bored and want something new. This annoying feature of our mind makes us restless and mind wanderer.
" Wonderful moment is wonderful for the first time they happen, but thier wonderfulness wans away "
It is all because our mind are built to get used to of things and moreover we don't acknowledge the fact that our minds are built in this way.
...... Not think in absolutes but relative to some reference point
This annoying feature compels us to set the standards of happiness relative to some others.Eg if we are surrounded by unemployed people then our unemployment will not haunt us but if we are surrounded by employed people then it will effect us badly.It means we always compare ourselves.We take the motivation from outside instead of inside.Outside motivators undermine our intrinsic motivation and slowly we lose the track of self confidence.
3 Coping strategies
Now the question comes how can we surmount all these annoying features ? Well, for this something more than just knowing is needed because it is a fallacy
" Knowing is half the battle"
Firstly reframe your misconceptions of happiness and get over the idea of MISWANTING
Actual happiness is in Kindness, Gratitude, Time Affluence , Spending money on others , Meditation , Exercise, Social Connections,
Secondly Learn to savour the moment.Be in the moments and lost the track of time. Whatever you do ,try to be completely immersed in it.Take a photo ,write something about or share it with your friends. It will help you that how to be in the particular moment and you can overcome mind wandering.
Thirdly Develop a habit of re- experiencing .Eg if you were doing a job for 30 thousands and now you are earning 50 thousands and still you are not satisfied then re-vist your earlier office or ruminate all about the previous job.It helps you in two ways first it will thwart hedonic adaptation and second it will inculcate feelings of gratitude.
Fourth Interrupt your consumption eg if you like a song and you listen it continuously then there will be a Time you will not want to listen it.It means you will fall prey to Hedonic adaption.Try that whatever you do , do it in PAUSE AND PLAY mode. Do but then leave it for sometime it will keep your interest in that particular thing.
Lastly Invest in experimental purchases as much as you can instead of material purchase.Experimental purchases have more tendency to make you happy.eg Go for a trip instead of buying changing model of cars every year. It is very less likely that you will compare your adventures with other's adventures but in case of car you will surely compare.This behavior will help you to revamp your reference poitns.
At last I have observed all of our issues are just because of these three annoying features of our mind which make our life difficult. If only for once we acquire this idea that we can control our mind then it will be the actual and everlasting happiness and well being.