NOTE: This is distinct from her
other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of
children. And from Allah comes all success.
The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is
to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married
her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam,
abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma
astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"
He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s)
said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la
ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).
He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every
situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters
ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him
and pay attention to his.
6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the
context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and
her.
He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married
couple.
8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in
all the actions that pertain to her.
He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best
gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.
If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house
help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require
her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the
husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to
clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it
is a gift to the husband on her part.