I am a looser

When I was kid, I always want to experience new things, to explore everything but the people around me didn’t allow me to do this. They thought they I will get hurt or I am so young to experience these kinds of things.

That’s what usually all the kids think when they became young but the experience that I had is very unique. I want to share that how can over protection damage you and your dreams.

My name is ...choro yar name main kiya para hy. You can call me Sam. In my childhood I loved to be called by the name of Sam but my parents thought k kiya hinduon wala name hy .

My parents always pampered me and gave me all the facilities one can wish as I was the only child of my parents. I have a loving mother; a caring father even didn’t let me to tie my laces myself. He thought that I don’t need to my own work when he is there. Even when I was in O levels, then I was not allowed to drive bike. My parents thought that I am too young to drive.

When I was doing a level, I was not allowed to hang up with my friends. By the way, I couldn’t even choose my friends on my own.

My parents though that only 2 guys can be my best friends because they were my neighbors. So they were my so called best friend without thinking that neighborhood has nothing to do with friendship. A conversation with female fellow was considering a sin. My parents though that it will ruin my life so i need to focus only on studies.

Then it’s time to join university. I still remember that I was very happy to just think that now I have to sort out all my issues/problems on my own but on the other hand my parents were very worried due to same issue that how I will sort out all my issues on my own. So my parents arranged an apartment for me rather letting me to explore my life in university hostel.

That decision of my parents damaged my personality. I start to build a circle of negativity around me and this circle was so strong that if any positivity come around me, my negative energy immediately attract that positive energy (as opposite poles always attract each other) into negative energy and the circle got more strong. I only speak one time in my class which was answering my roll call otherwise I used to remain quiet. I was not comfortable with having company of unknown students. I used to get afraid when any unknown students try to get friendship with me.

My class mates started calling me “looser” which I think a suitable word for me.

I didn’t get A grades in university ever because I lose believe in me. I always thought to let it go ass I am not so compatible to beat other students. Although chess was my favorite game but I couldn’t play it because I had a fear that I can never beat computer in chess. When my mates were invited me for any sports, I immediately refused their proposal with the same statement k “mjy parhna hy” but the reality was that I was afraid of being lose the game.

I can predict my future which is no other than remaining a looser. I just request to all parents to do love their children but at the same time they must realize that every child has his own ambition so just let him/her give the feathers to fly not a cage of gold so that no body may become a looser like me.