Late Marriages

(Bukhtawar, Sargodha)

Human is a social and emotional beings, who is in consistent need of emotional and social supports from his or her immediate and secondary environment. And nature of these supports kept on changing with aging. For instance, a toddler will demand full attention and caring, while an adolescent would need freedom of choice, self-confidence and ways to manage his physical energy, whereas, an adult’s demands positive feedback, personal space and platforms for self-growth and personal development.

Moreover, in accordance to social psychologists, home, schooling, job and marriage are those basic environment that helps human, in fulfilling his/her psychological, social and emotional needs, and lack of any of these environments, will definitely going leave negative effects on one’s personality, psychological and most importantly emotional life.

And in this article, major emphasizes on late marriage, because now a days, late or delayed marriage related issues are more common and these issues are causing serious social dilemmas and social evils. In accordance to psychology, marriage is like a buffer or stabilizer as its help human to channelize his / her rolling coasters of emotions, feeling and affects. Although amble of articles are there, highlighting social and family related attitudes that most of the time results in late or delayed marriages. And they have also given insight about the possible the physical, psychological, social and emotional consequences of delayed or late marriages, ranging from depression to indulgence, birth of disabled child to infertility.
Being student of psychology and psychic studies, I have observed many behaviors and attitudes of individuals, which that plays major roles in causing delayed or sometimes marriage failure or conflicts. And here, I’m going to share those behaviors, so that those who are having such attitudes could work on them and let them safe from numerous issues. Moreover, one can easily cross validate these sharing, by comparing life of those with early and delayed marriages.

One of basic behavior that likely to result in late marriages is idealization, though it’s not wrong to sketch ones ideal but we should be very careful while making that image of our prince charming or dream girl, because what I have observed that many of us tend to imagine ideals that cannot be available in society and even in this world of imperfection. So while, making your ideals, make sure that he or she might have psychological and social makeup very much similar to yours. Because it’s the nature and psyche that persist forever, while beauty, health and money start depleting after certain ages.

Second important factor is impulsivity and intuitiveness; these traits are very much common among people, who belong from critical family environment, because such environments mostly develop sense of insecurity and fear of disapproval. So, for such type of individuals I would suggest to, go for rational and logical decisions and try to be more self-committed and self-focused rather about caring about other interest and perceptions.

Last and for most important is karma or self-fulfilling prophesies, we are living karmic world i.e. we have to reap what we have sown, as in Quran its clearly said that calamities and hardships occurs because of man himself, although nature tend test man with numerous difficulties in order to bring him on tract, polish his existing faculties or exposing the hidden abilities. But most of hardship we tend to face in our lives are mostly occurs because of our previous deeds and attitudes. And it’s what karmic principles says you will get, what you wished for yourself, so if you remain good to yourself and utter positive things about yourself and future than you would definitely going to get something very precious in times to come. But if you are in habit of cursing yourself, denying what you really want than belief me, you are going to pay for those bad karmic attitudes. So, try being polite towards you and always making optimistic statements about yourself whether you are busy in self-talk or public interaction. as per my experience, people who are having such attitudes, behaviors and traits tend to face hurdles in all major areas of life whether its education , career and relationship. And working on these traits would bring tremendous magnetism and blessing in ones life.

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03 Apr, 2020 Views: 77


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