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Children of today will be the leaders of tomorrow. Their upbringing
plays an important role in shaping their moral values and molding their
character. Education may contribute to the development of the child’s
skill, however to develop good character, good parenting is
quintessential. The most developed countries in the world nurture their
young generation so that they could entrust their future to them. The
Japanese nation is the prime example, and I have had a great opportunity
to observe their traditions closely by living among them for about five
years.
It is a joy to be around children but the Japanese kids are some of the
most polite, friendly and well behaved children you ever meet. By
interacting with the Japanese parents and children I have become aware
of some of their parenting rules which I would like to share here.
1. Story telling
Story telling is a top priority. Japanese parents take special care to
pass on their tradition and history through stories and fairy tales.
Their are even scary monsters that parents from other countries might
not consider suitable for the children. But the Japanese parent expose
their children to both good and evil to prepare them for the real life.
Every year they have many festivals which have skits showing their
culture and their history. These festivals are arranged in every
neighbourhood and everyone can freely participate in them.
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Matsuri (traditional annual festival) |
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2. Mother-child bonding
Japanese give great importance to mother-child physical contact. They
sleep with them, carry them around everywhere they go. Even they
sacrifice their professional carrier to be close to their child. They
place great importance on the initial seven years of their child.
Getting a baby sitter is pretty uncommon.
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3. Importance of obeying rules
The Japanese society is built around rules. How to talk, how to walk,
how to greet and how to interact with others, their is a norm for
everything and children are taught from a very young age to follow
these. In school children are expected to join activities, such as
sports, creative groups, clubs etc that teaches them to cooperate with
others and follow guidelines.
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Sports Day at School |
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4. Involvement of community in parenting
Japanese children are always taught to respect and honor their grand
parents and elders. Even elders who are strangers to them are considered
trustworthy and must be respected. Elders are all supposed to protect
children. This creates an environment where the community is a safe
place for the children to grow up. You can see this in parks where small
children play freely and all mothers keep an eye on them. I remember
many examples such as after an earthquake a mother bringing back from
school all the neighbourhood kids with her. During Ramadan, when I was
fasting, mothers took turn to take my youngest daughter to school and
bring her back after school.
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5. Focus on children’s nutrition
Japanese give great value in providing balanced meal to children. Their
parents prepare nutritional lunch which usually include rice,
vegetables, soup, meat, yogurt or milk. Junk food is discouraged. Even
school lunches in japan are as healthy as home food.
6. Children must think of other
From a very early age parent in Japan teach their children to respect
others feelings, so you will never see a child’s temper tantrums,
speaking loudly, bumping with others, being aggressive in public.
7. Children are highly independent
In Japan kids as young as seven years old get to travel to school by
themselves. The Japanese get away with this because they have a
phenomenal public transport system and one of the lowest crime rates in
the world. This teaches them a sense of responsibility and discipline.
8. Parents discipline their children in private
Parents discipline their children behind doors and away from prying
eyes. Once I was traveling on a train, a small child started crying. The
mother immediately left the train on the next stop to avoid
inconvenience to others. It is very uncommon to see a child crying or
being aggressive in public.
Parents are expected to be role model that remain patient when their
children are misbehaving. If a child started yelling in a crowd and the
parent respond by screaming at them, the whole family will be ashamed.
Parent discipline their children in private so that the child will pay
attention to what they are saying without being distracted by others.
Pakistani society also had these norms which are traditional for an
Islamic and eastern values. We are losing our ethics by taking
inspiration from the western and so called modern culture.
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