Some time I just think that why
marriage is becoming a sign of terror of young generation? Why don’t we want to
be in this kind of relationship? How important is that to maintain a balance
between old and new relations e.g. with parents and wife? And finally a million
dollar question is that if marriage really disturbs our lives (which I am sure
it doesn't) then why Islam encourages doing marriages in early stage of life?
I guess the reason is that all the bad experiences of married lives around us
making us believe that marriage is the other name of tension. Do have a look
around you and you will realize that marriage is just a habit for most of the
couples. They are not living their time rather they are just passing their time
I do believe that living a happy married life is an art and we have to learn the
rules and techniques of this art to enjoy this relation. Usually when the topic
of marriage is discussed in a gathering then only biological part is discussed
which is a good way to kill the time because there is a famous saying that “if
you have a dirty mind then you will never get bore”. Any ways let’s get back to
the topic.
Most of the important aspect of married life is how to maintain a balance
between the old relations and new relations. Yes you got me. I am talking about
your parents and wife.
You have to understand what your parents expect you after your marriage as well
as what your wife expects. Usually parents have an issue that their son gets
change after marriage, he doesn’t care them anymore, he gives more time to her,
his wife is no more supportive and all that.
Similarly your wife has also some concerns that your parents are harsh, you
don’t give him time, her sisters in law have taunting behavior, and she doesn’t
have enough space and all that. In the same time you are having the family
politics and your friends have another story and so on.
One of the best solution for some of the issues mentioned above Understand each
other
Yeah I know that this is a very common trick that you always listen that
understanding is a key to happy married life but the interesting part is that no
bony tells what to understand? Here I come to resolve this mystery.
In order to have understanding, you have to raise the level of communication
with your partner. The one thing which can spoil a marriage life is
communication gap but wait don’t ever communicate your old affairs with your
wife. It’s a suicide mission. Communication means that you have to tell your
partner that what makes you happy and what doesn’t and vice versa. This exercise
must be made right from the start of your marriage and this is the perfect time
to realize your partner that how important your parents are for you. If she
wants her husband to be good with her, then she has to be good with his parents.
Now it’s very easy to keep your parents happy. All you have to do is to make
them realize that they still play a key role in house.
Ask your wife to go anywhere after having permission from your parents.
When you return from your official work, go straight to your parent’s room
even if just for two minutes. It will make them happy.
In your any important decision, do share this with your parents. It will hurt
them if there here it from a third person.
Do have a critical eye on needs of your parents. Don’t wait that you will give
them when they demand. In that age, parents usually hesitate to demand
Ask your wife to make your parents feel happy by little tricks e.g. offering
tea often, having gossips with them, listening their stories for a while and
give them respect etc.
Now it’s a time to know how to keep your wife happy.
Wife needs acknowledgement, to be praised and care. The mixture of these three
ingredients results an outcome which is called “Love”. Here are some tricks to
keep your wife happy
After going home, if you text him only one massage having content of missing
you, love you etc. then this will keep her happy whole day.
Gifts (chocolates are best one) play a vital role to make the bonding
stronger.
Make her laugh. Don’t be so serious all the time.
Make her surprise all the time. It will keep the fun element alive.
Make her busy in studies and job etc. it will keep her away from family
politics
Don’t tell her your salary but on the same time do fulfill all her needs.
Do express all the time that how much you love with her. Although wife does
know that how much you love but she always wants to hear it again and again.
Don’t force her to do anything. If you have your respect and love in her hand,
she will do anything to make you happy so focus on getting more and more place
in her heart.
Do get angry at her some time and the best way to show angriness is to “avoid
her”. That’s the worse punishment she can have. But be sure that duration of
this punishment shouldn’t be so long.
Girls are very intelligent. They demand when you are happy so don’t promise
when you are happy and don’t take a decision when you are angry.
Although there is a possibility that you guys may not agree with all the stuff
mentioned above but I just want to say one thing that “don’t just pass your
time, live your time” and do live your time with the most beautiful relations
you have on this earth.