Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari (May Allah
be pleased with him) reported:
(I asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): "Who is the most excellent among the
Muslims?" He said, "One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are
secure.")
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering
it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one
speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and
for this reason he will sink down into Hell."
In terms of my own experience there is no doubt about it I can say with full
convention that the Muslim who truly understands the teachings of his religion
is gentle, friendly and likeable. He mixes with people and gets along with them.
This is something which should be a characteristic of the Muslim who understands
that keeping in touch with people and earning their trust is one of the most
important duties of the Muslim. It is an effective means of conveying the
message of truth to them, and exposing them to its moral values, because people
only listen to those whom they like, trust and accept. Hence there are many
Hadiths which commend the type of person who is friendly and liked by others.
Such a person is one of those chosen ones who are beloved by the Prophet (p.b.u.h.)
and will be closest to him on the Day of Resurrection:
"Shall I not tell you who among you is the most beloved to me and will be
closest to me on the Day of Resurrection?" He repeated it two or three times,
and they said, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.).’ He said: "Those of you
who are the best in attitude and character." (Reported by Ahmad and its Isnad is
Jayyid) Some reports add: "Those who are down to earth and humble, who get along
with others and with whom others feel comfortable."
One of the attributes of the believer is that he gets along with others and
others feel comfortable with him. He likes people and they like him. If he is
not like this, then he will not be able to convey the message or achieve
anything of significance. Whoever is like that has no goodness in him, as in the
Hadith:
"The believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him. There
is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people and with whom they
do not feel comfortable.” (Reported by Ahmad and al-Bazar; the men of Ahmad's
Isnad are Rijal as-Sahih)
The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) set the highest example of good behaviour towards people.
He was skilful in softening their hearts and called them to follow him in word
and deed. He demonstrated how to reach people's hearts and win their love and
admiration.
He was always cheerful and easy-going, never harsh. When he came to any
gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to
do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one who was present in a
gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving preferential treatment. If
anyone came to him and asked for something, he would give it to them, or at
least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone and he was
like a father to them. The people gathered around him were truly equal,
distinguished only by their level of taqwa. They were humble, respecting their
elders, showing compassion to young ones, giving priority to those in need and
taking care of strangers.
The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) never used to disappoint anyone who came to ask from him.
There are three characteristics that he did not possess: he was not
argumentative, he did not talk too much, and he did not concern himself with
matters that were not his business. There are three things that he never did to
people: he never criticized anyone, he never said "Shame on you!" to anyone, and
he never looked for anyone's faults. He never said anything but that for which
he hoped to earn reward. When he spoke, the people around him would listen
earnestly, sitting still as if there were birds on their heads. When he was
silent, then they would speak. They never argued with one another in his
presence. They would smile at whatever he smiled at, and would be impressed by
whatever impressed him. He would be patient with a stranger who might be harsh
in his requests or questions, and his Companions would ask the stranger to speak
gently. He said, "If you see someone in need, then help him." He never accepted
praise except from someone who was thanking him for a favour, and he never cut
off anyone who was speaking; he would wait until the person indicated that he
had finished, or stood up.
Aishah tells us that he used to be cautious of the worst type of people, and he
would speak gently to them and treat them well. A man sought permission to enter
upon him and he said, "Let him in, what a bad brother of his tribe he is!" When
the man came in, he spoke gently to him. Aishah said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.),
you said what you said, and then you spoke gently to him.’ He (p.b.u.h.) said,
"O Aishah, the worst of people is the one whom people avoid (or are gentle
towards) because they fear his slander." (Bukhari and Muslim)
The true Muslim follows in the footsteps of his Prophet in his dealings with all
people, whether they are good or bad, so that he is liked and accepted by all
people.