One of many people’s main life
goal is to marry the first person they fall in love with, live happily ever
after, and skip happily away to live the heaven dream. However, many married
couples quickly find themselves turning to divorce as an answer, to ending the
fairy tale they had once dreamed. Many people would ask “why” the perfect couple
would choose such a negative ending to their once happy marriage. In some cases,
many couples have to question their own motives for divorce. Although there are
many alternate routes to fix the simplest problems that may occur in a marriage.
For some, simple does not always mean easy. It is certain that the cause of
divorce varies from couple to couple, yet lack of communication, money and
children, is among the most common causes of divorce.
Lack of communication in a marital relationship is one of the most common causes
of divorce. When there is lack in communication, problems cannot be solved
easily. Many couples do not give importance to discuss minor matters but do not
think that it can increase the communication gap among them. Both fail to
realize the importance of discussing and sharing ideas. Lack of communication
also affects the decision making of household circumstances. Many couples lack
communication when it comes to making decisions for their children. When one
spouse does not agree with a decision made by the other one, then an argument
can occur, and result by one or both parties sharing a feeling of resentment
against other. Failure to discuss daily issues results in strains on the marital
relationships. It is common for many couples to focus themselves to the
distractions of everyday life, therefore leaving very little time for
communication. This can cause marital problems to be overlooked. Thus these
originate problems in the marital relationship and often unresolved conflicts
due to of lack in communication ends up with divorce.
Another common cause of divorce is money. Many people say, “Money is the root of
all evil,” as in a marriage it can be the root of all problems. Money is needed
to fulfill the necessities of life but can be the cause of problems as well.
When one spouse makes all of the financial decisions, and the other spouse does
not agree with the decisions then conflicts can occur between two of them.
Financial responsibility can be another factor for strain in marital
relationship. Financial obligations that accompany the birth of a child can
cause conflict between two, when they are not financially prepared for the
increase in financial responsibility, which a couple gains when having children.
This financial responsibility can affect the marriage drastically, when what
seemed to be enough for the two, is not enough to provide for a family. For many
married couples, an over spending of funds by one or both partners can occur.
This situation can put the couples in trouble. It causes conflicts among them.
No matter how much love that two people have for one another, it takes money to
live a normal life. Lack of money can cause conflict in a marriage, sometimes
escalating in intense arguments, and resulting in divorce.
In our culture, similar to most of the Asian communities, having children is an
essential part of a stable marital relationship. Children, either sons or
daughter, are important for the parents or couples but more importance is given
to sons. They are considered to be earning members. Therefore, failure to have
son puts the females in trouble. Infertility is another cause of strain on
marital relationships. Childless women or women having only daughters are not
merely socially stigmatized but might face consequences such as economic
deprivation and marital disruption. Moreover, these women are being verbally and
physically abused. These consequences, together with feelings of guilt,
worthlessness and low self-esteem for being infertile, affect her mental,
physical, social well being and lead to another marriage or divorce.
In conclusion, no matter what the reason, divorce may never be easy. According
to Anwar “divorce according to Islam can be effective only when all efforts- of
reconciliation are exhausted”. Many couples fail to realize that a lack of
communication, money, and children, are among the most common causes of divorce.
I would like to recommend that couples should discuss even small issues among
themselves to resolve them easily. Money is necessary to fulfill the needs but
should be prioritized according to needs and finances with discussion. Many
people say “cut your coat according to your clothe”. In our culture the female
is always blamed for not having children but cause could be male too. Therefore
media can also play an important role by awareness programmes to overcome
divorce. I am also recommending that educational parental session must be
conducted through media. Anwar emphasized that “increase the educational level
to reduce the divorce ratio.