You have to leave your study
and take care of your daughter “Diya” suggested my Mother-in-law. “Nurturing and
caring for her is more essential as that will build your bond with her. If you
don’t stay home with Diya, you wouldn’t be able to share more time with her and
the connection between you and your daughter will be weakened” she continued.
Many families around the world, including mine, have the same norm that the
women are supposed be staying at home and take care of their children so as to
have strong bond between mother and child. And many women like me understands
that parents play an important role in shaping the lives of their children and
that is why they invest their time and money in activities that affect their
offspring’s well being; however, we also feel that our traditional role as child
bearers must be supplemented with a sense of achievement. In Pakistan, while a
majority of the women may still be fighting against the old order of seeing
themselves only as a ‘homemaker’ and not the ‘bread earner’, some have
definitely seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Women across the world are
beginning to realize that there is a world outside their kitchen windows. And
so, I realized that it was essential for me to examine the effects of working on
my child in particular. The purpose of examining on this issue was not only the
betterment of my child but also was to assist many other families, like mine, to
make a decision on their career over their children. My personal experience
along with the support of latest literature has assisted me to believe that
employed mother can have a positive influence on their children’s physical,
socio-emotional and cognitive development.
Many parents are usually concerned about their child’s physical development
especially in terms of their milestones, nutrition, and health and illness
patterns. One of the hard truths that I have learned is the possibility of
working mother to miss out on the major milestones of their babies' lives. It
doesn’t mean that the milestones of the child would be delayed; but it indicates
that as a mother you might not be able to share the moment of first milestones
of your child. However, many institutions have realized the need to accommodate
new mothers at work. Many employers have the child-care facility that can soothe
the new mom to share few exciting moments of her child’s milestones. Such
institutions also provide the new mom to have flexed hours whereby she can feed
her baby. Dan Woong, a contributing writer, supports by stating, “Many
institutions consider that by allowing new moms to breast feed or express milk
at work will result in having healthy babies which means less staff turnover,
and higher job productivity and morale” (2007). I being a mother of 15 months
old daughter, I feel as time passes, both, the mother and child will adapt this
setting implying that mother will be able to use the time productively by
ensuring the preparation of child’s food so as to provide him/her with all the
nutritional components. In fact, Jennifer Reid Holman claims in the conference
of the American Public Health Association 133rd Annual Meeting that the dietary
quality of the child of working mom appears to be similar to that of the
children with non-employed mothers (2005). Health and illness can be another
aspect of physical development that can concern a new mother. After having
discussions with several new moms I am able to conclude that both working and/or
non-working mother keeps a constant eye on their children’s health. I have also
noticed that when their children becoming ill they would spend all their
possible time including their own leisure and sleeping time with out
complaining.
One of the most important differences between the children of working and
non-working mothers is the socio-emotional development. According to Gale,
(2007), “Mothers who are full-time homemakers are more likely to use either an
authoritarian or a permissive parenting style than those who are employed full
time. Working mothers are more likely to use an authoritative approach that
relies on reason, rather than assertions of parental power, and encourage both
girls and boys to be independent.” This proves at longer run working mothers
will be able to value independence of their children. The other aspect that
makes me contented is that since working mothers have less time to spend with
their children, they tend to learn the techniques of spending quality time with
their children and provides more compassion to them when compared to non-working
mothers. Hoffman and Lise Young blade, a psychologist at the University of
Colorado at Colorado Springs, found that working moms are more affectionate with
their offspring than those who don't have full-time jobs. Both the children and
the mothers reported more maternal hugs, kisses, and verbal expressions of
affection. (Thomas Gale as cited in ‘Effects of Children’s well being’ April
2007)
Another thing to consider is the cognitive development. Last but not the least,
children of working mother can possibly have more control on their mental
capabilities and can make decisions more appropriately. They are believed to
participate more in class discussions, ask questions when instructions are
unclear, and feel comfortable in leadership positions than the children of non
working mothers. Thomas Gale (2007) further supports this statement by stating
that “offspring of working mothers had higher scores on standardized achievement
tests in reading, math, and science”. Best of all, is that the children of a
working mother have competent coping abilities. The independence and affection
that a child receives in working mother makes the child emotionally matured and
confident in dealing with day to day responsibilities and stresses. And since
the non-working mothers tend to use authoritative approach towards their
children, they tend to have children who are less able to make independent
decisions in their youth.
To conclude, many societies may pressure women to leave their jobs after having
children. However, children are affected by the influence of their mothers
whether they are working or non-working .These effects are obvious on their
physical, cognitive and socio-emotional aspects. Provided that the friendly work
environment is provide, working mothers can monitor their child’s nutritional
status, and displays higher levels of warmth and acceptance. This in turn,
assists the children in their youth by making them more independent and stronger
enough to cope with the ongoing stressors. Indeed, the working mothers provide a
very positive role model for children in a family.