Socrates has said some
beautiful lines about marriage. He said “By all means, marry. If you get a good
wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.”
The words are wise but one sided. There is nothing one sided in a successful
marriage. Basically the term ‘successful marriage’ is not supported by a person
like me who believe that there is no “Success and failure” in any kind of
relationship. Marriage is not a bond as per my opinion. It is a continuous
process of making, breaking and remaking the bonds. There are hundreds of
articles available on the internet that speaks about “how to build a successful
married life?”. But frankly by all means at times or you may say many times, the
fights among the spouses are spontaneous. These fights do not give you time to
rethink the points you read in any kind of influential article.
According to my opinion the only key point that keeps a marriage successful is
"never keep a score". The partner who is at home and the partner who is working
outside, both are valuable to each other. They both work hard on their sides and
thus are respectable on equal basis. Counting your scores on each other can
worsen the situations.
For wives, after giving a multiple numbers of nursing sessions, it feels like
bristling with a torch of anger. It happens to almost all moms all over the
world. When the husbands come home and they say that “it was a tough day”, you
feel like “Ok”. You control your emotions from saying that it was the tough day
and night as well for me. Once he shares his part of frustration, you should
take it easy on your emotions. Ask him to sit back and relax (if possible).
Later on if you have some frustrations go ahead. The turns can be vice versa on
other days of the week.
Score keeping in marriage can be a real disaster. None of the spouses can agree
on scores like who has done more to save the marriage. So it’s lame to use such
techniques. Trying not to remember the bad days but to keep ‘good moments’ in
mind helps your bond stuck in the right way. It is not necessary that changing
the diaper or making the food are the only possible ways to prove love. The love
is inside every marriage. It is just ignored with the few bad moments of anger,
frustration and ignorance. So, keep on loving each other without any worries of
“saving a relationship” or “building a successful married life”.