Significant Self love

“I just don’t feel for you anymore”… these were the words of my partner which hit me like a brick. After three, catastrophic years of our relationship it came down to “feelings are turned off”. I was perplexed by this statement and I couldn’t figure out how could you just “turn off” your feelings? It wasn’t possible for me and we both were in love or was it just I? After three years of ups and downs I accepted the reality of one-sided love. After the illusion of love disappeared from my conscience I realized how many countless mistakes I ignored. I was living in a fool’s paradise and not coming to terms of the jerk-like behavior of my mate. He casually made fun of my dreams of pursuing a PhD, even stated that I could only make my parents proud if I married a wealthy man. These words still stung my heart as I recall but now after everything has been dissolved; why did I allow myself such torcher? Why did I stoop so low? Why did I allow myself to get hurt and cry every day?! The answer was self-love and that is the antidote of many successful relationships.

How could I expect to love someone when I didn’t even love myself? I was insecure and I felt I was never good enough for anyone. So whenever my ex shouted or abused me, I felt numb and empty because I didn’t respect myself, hence the abuse. Self-love is important if you want a healthy, stable relationship. Now the extreme of self-love is narcissism which is also problematic but for many depressants and anxiety patients out there self-love is the key to progress. When you love yourself you pamper, you take care of your body and image. You become more confident and if a jerk-like boyfriend treats you inappropriately you stand up for yourself. If I loved myself three years back I wouldn’t have to put up with such disgusting behavior.

For self-love you need to surround yourself with positivity, this means you need to think well about yourself and filter out all the negative energy from your mind. Stop criticizing yourself, accept your mistakes and who you are, remind yourself that imperfection is the original beauty, don’t stress on your past mistakes and laugh more. Remind yourself that “You are beautiful and you don’t need anyone’s approvals, no one’s perfect, you are precious and worthy of all the love you can get.” Promise to love yourself and treat yourself gently. Pamper yourself and spend time with your loved ones. Why not go for a facial or spa treatment? Eat well and healthy and take care of your body, dance or just do anything (legal) for your well-being or happiness. Read your favorite book and learn to relax! Enjoy the blessings life has to offer. Love yourself as a mother would love their child, embrace what you are and idealize yourself. When you love yourself then you will radiate confidence where ever you go. Confidence will help you succeed in job interviews and making friendly relations with people. Negative feelings and moments of shame will eventually evaporate if you love yourself, your outlook would change and life wouldn’t be as hectic as it seems. By self-love you will tend to appear more attractive and appealing towards others, also you will realize your worth and would indulge in health relationships which will result in a good family life.

It’s a step by step process for a better, blissful life and hanging on to your past would only make your future bleak. Loving and cherishing yourself is a major, positive personality change which changes your whole perspective on life. You can avoid future diseases such as depression and anxiety which lead to fatal illnesses; also you could be a great example for your children to follow. This process is hard and takes time but when you finally reach your goal it’s going to be worth it.