Say NO to dowry

(Yusra Aziz, Karachi)

Dowry is the practice of transferring parental property to the bride's husband on their wedding. The practice of dowry got favorable climate from Hindu culture in which girls do not get share from the property of their Parents. While among Muslims the girls do have definite share from the property of their Parents.

Since newly married couple has to run an establishment so they require some help and assistance. But such a help should not be a source of trouble, financial crisis and worries for girl’sparents. There should be some limit to the extent of dowry.

It is alright to give dowry where the parents can easily afford but it should not be compulsion. Also the people who can easily afford giving dowry to their daughters should not go out of their limit to compete with others and meet the standards. Compulsory and rigid dowry system has created numerous socio-economic and socio-psychological problems for the poor parents in our society.

It is generally seen that beautiful, physically and morally sound girls of marriageable age who belong to lower middle or middle classes do not find suitable and proper partners. If the parents of the girls don’t offer rich dowry at the time of marriage she has to face criticism from the in-laws. And the girl does not command much respect in the eyes of husband’s relations. Very often poor dowry becomes the source of married maladjustment, separation and divorce. It is a common observation that our rural population run into indebtedness in order to meet the false requirements of dowry. Such indebtedness leads to low agricultural interests, indebtedness, lack of capital formation affect of socio-economic conditions of ruralities. It is interesting to note that it is not only the girls parents who have to bear out the expenses of dowry but also the maternal uncles of the girl share this headache as well. And overwhelming majority of our ruraland urban population is facing this problem that is either in the preparation of dowry or facing its after effects.
 
The girl’s parents should not stick to the custom of dowry as a fashion to show off their richness. Therestriction on exhibition of dowry is the right step in discouraging this custom. There should be further check on the extent of dowry which should be fixed keeping in view the financial position of the girl’s parents and their responsibilities.

A collective and organized effort should be made throughlocal religious leaders, local councilors, local leaders, baradari heads to createatmosphere in which themarriages are encouraged where there is either very little dowry or no dowry at all. At the time of engagement another pre-marriage and post- marriage ceremonies their should be no high expectations of dowry either in cash or in kind from the parents of the boy and vice versa.

The Muslim population of our country should follow the footprints of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h)who gave very little dowry at the time of the marriage of his daughter. The parents should invest as much as they can afford to educate the girl and to inculcate a high ethical and moral tradition along with comprehensive training to realizeanticipated, roles insteadof spending much on dowry. On the other hand, the in-law must appreciate attractive personality traits of the girls as compared to monetary and financial gains.


The political “will” of the government as shown by putting a strict ban on lunches/dinners for marriage receptions and “walima” parties is the best example. The same spirit is supposed to be maintained in the case of dowry as well.


 

Yusra Aziz
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