A look at a girl’s path to
Even before a girl enters her twenties, the rishtas start rolling in and wedding
plans that were somewhere far far away take the front seat. Everyone — and their
mom — literally, are concerned about a single girl who “should” be married.
While some girls creep out just hearing the word wedding, others plan for a
B-town inspired musical extravaganza with camel carts, fireworks and whatever
else they can get their hands on. However, whether the girl wants a simple or an
elaborate affair, marriage is a life changing event!
Marriage by definition means “the legally or formally recognized union of two
people as partners in a personal relationship”. This formal meaning is not
valuable for a girl who already has opinions about marriage based on other
people’s experience or unrealistic fantasies driven by dramatic love stories on
But behind all the assumptions, generalizations and the gold and glitter, the
true essence of marriage gets lost.
Firstly, marriage happens between two families, not just individuals. Secondly,
what marriage might mean to one will definitely differ from what it means to
another — all based on observations — good or bad.
People around her give unwanted advice. The girl gets told horrific stories
about her first night of being married. Friends and family participate in all
the pre wedding events all the while reminding the bride that soon she will be
gone. The stress of her own unexpected future life prevents her from fully
enjoying her own wedding.
The truth is, whether the picture of marriage in a girl’s head is pretty or
ugly; the whole series of occasions, from the baat pakki to the rukhsati, are
There are a gazillion reasons why a girl might turn into bridezilla, but we are
only going to talk about three.
1. The Shift
The first thought that traumatizes a girl occurs when she begins to look at her
home, her safe haven, as a temporary accommodation. The reality starts to sink
in and anxiety pops up. The bride realizes now she will have to leave her
parents, her siblings, her comfort zone and move to a completely different place
with her partner, and possibly a whole new family. It takes a lot of strength to
endure these facts.
Scary stories of couples start to surface and girls unconsciously begin to
imagine their married life as a depiction of someone else’s. A black-and-white
movie reel takes over their mind in which all their pessimist psychic vision
makes them feel like they’re about to enter a dark jungle.
2. The OOTN (Outfit Of The Night)
The horrible struggle of getting your dream dress made is as real as can be. All
that she wants is a perfect dress for the wedding — a dress which has
hypothetically gone through numerous modifications over and over again already
to suit her style. And yet, ultimately it’s not even close to that flawless
picture perfect in her head.
3. The Doubt
Uncertainty causes the future bride to become manic depressive. The risk, the
doubt, the skepticism stays till the final “qubool hai” is accompanied by the
final signature. This uncertainty cannot be erased — it’s part of the package.
All anyone can do is hope for the best and stay positive!
Simultaneously, with all that’s going wrong, there are a few rights as well.
A girl’s thoughts are as deep as the ocean, as jammed as the craziest traffic on
a busy road, and at the time of her wedding, as gleeful and dreamy as a Disney
fairy tale! Every girl imagines herself to be a beautiful bride, at a
breathtaking venue, walking down the aisle with her favorite romantic song
playing in the background. The forecasted magic, excitement of independence and
perfection of the upcoming life is an essential part of this phase.
A girl starts viewing and implying everything that she has read and seen all her
life, practically. This includes dressing up, having her own customized place
and having a lifelong date with her best friend, her husband.
It’s an emotional roller coaster ride that doesn’t go down that easily. It only
stabilizes and becomes clear once she enters her newly married life completely.
The premarriage thoughts play an important role in the conduct of this
relationship. Sometimes, only negative and anxious thoughts become the reason of
a stressful life. Nothing ever remains perfect; the key to a peaceful and
blissful life is to enter it with utter optimism and to embrace everything
including the flaws with minimal expectations. When things happen without
demanding and foreseeing, only then that predicted magic can come into