Our Obsession With Judging Others Prematurely

‘Look! She’s is wearing jeans. How immoral she must be; seems like she does not care much for her family’s honor’. How often do we hear such remarks and labeling of people based on their outer appearances, without even knowing the subject.

This kind of baseless and misinformed labeling and making assertions is also termed as ‘judging’. To judge someone is not always wrong; it’s rather a natural instinct to develop an image of other person after an interaction. However, it’s the ‘basis’ of passing judgments that is the differentiating factor between right and wrong. Creating an image of other person based on extensive interaction and after having spent reasonable amount of time is always natural. One cannot be non-judgmental of others who he/ she spent considerable time with. On the other hand, judging without knowing someone, without having interacted much (or even at all in some cases) is absolutely wrong.

A person himself/ herself would not like to be judged by someone; but that same person will be seen indulging in judging others without consciously knowing it. This kind of negative judgment results in strained relationships. Many a times, it’s after spending some time that a person realizes that his image of other person was totally false.

Why judge then? Why create an image of other person when there is a strong probability that you do not have the facts right.

In order to provide a more transparent view let me aid this phrase with a hypothetical instance. There is a man with long hair and a rough beard living next door. A introvert by nature, he does not communicate much with others in the neighbourhood. Having grown up in a society where we judge others without knowing much about them, you start to despise and even fear that person. You develop hypothetical misconceptions about that person. You stop your children from visting his house. Since you have figured out that person already, there is very little probability that you will try to speak to that person or help him out if needed. It’s the fear created by the judgments that prevents you from doing so.

Someone from your family is hurt on the road while that person is around. That person takes him/ her immediately to nearby health facility and informs you of the instance. Suddenly, your thoughts about that person change. The feeling of gratitude makes you rethink, and may even result in changing that person’s image entirely. You think to yourself, ‘how wrong was I about that person. I should not have judged him so quickly’. A few weeks pass by. You start exchanging pleasentries with that person. But he still does not speak much. Come another fine day, you see his photo being displayed in the neighbourhood for a suspected paedophile. You are in disbelief and are telling others that this cannot be right. But can’t it? You have yet again developed your image of that person based on one good deed he did for you. Once again, you never tried to know him too much and let your guard down for that person.

So, why not get to know someone well before judging? Wouldn’t that save us from the misplaced hatred of others.