My relationship my priority...

(Samia Asim, )

While staying together for a long time under one roof, sometime gives you hard challenges of tolerance. It mostly happens, that tolerance helps you to maintain a healthy relation with the person who are meaningful for your life. However, We often see and experience in our way life that usually keep on tolerating and holding grudges for a lengthy time harms your relationship. We have seen many people who have tolerance habit OR tolerance have been instilled in them, and they being taught by their adults to KEEP QUIET, they usually end up with stronger negative feeling and greater stress response.

“Countless studies have shown that holding grudges and keeping negative feelings is bad for your mental health, increasing anxiety and frustration,” says Meyers.

I am not against of conventional upbringing style where females are tend to be quiet and tolerate the hard demeanor of their life partner or neither I suppose to encourage male and female yelling behavior towards each other.

The point which I want to highlight here is, how to make a healthy, happy relationship with your partner while having many major or minor differences in nature and ideologies.

Few days ago I was in the kitchen, cleaning the floor mess which was done by my younger son meanwhile, I was instructing all my boys and including my husband, not to enter the in kitchen but instead of children my husband enter in the kitchen, and was about to slip over the floor, it almost blew my mind, I became grumpy and asked him to go out in harsh way, he kept quiet and left the kitchen then I spoke more, but he didn’t answer, after a while I felt sorry for being rude but deep down I felt light, that was that feeling when you expel out your anger and feel calm.

As it been always in our relation, to stay quiet when one of us is an angry mood believe me! It works.... giving your partner space and stay quiet and let him or her to speak and discharge their emotions..... it would definitely work, in any case or situation in your life whenever you are confronting a financial issue, problems in relationships understanding blah blah blah... ... According to Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples' therapist in Los Angeles, “a growing number of grudges and resentments can really weaken your relationship”.

As far as my married life experience concerned another best thing is to forgive your spouse, when you got hurt. However, sometimes it is relatively easy to do, and sometimes it is difficult. When you feel it’s getting tough to ignore, communicate with your partner in a a friendly mood, while talking you have to keep that in your mind, that gentle way of talking would affect more, despite of using captivating words in a harsh tone.

Healthy communication played a significant role in the amid of misunderstanding between couples or in any relationships, talk to your partner and explain your concerns which bother you until it reaches to bitterness because Dr. Brown says, “Once you’ve reached the point of hostility, it is extremely difficult to get back unless you and your partner find a way to work it out,”

I read a quote somewhere, “Love Is A Two-Way Street” love is ever been described as a two-way however, it’s so true in friendship, marriage or in any relationships because two strange people come from two distinct backgrounds, and living on the same place so, both partners must have to put their efforts to smooth their relationship.

Being a married couple we been always watched by our children they are reluctant to listen us but, proactively observed our behavior, our understanding, our way of solving issues by mutual understanding and with healthy communication OR by fighting and yelling behavior towards each other. We are human beings, we all make mistakes, we can make things better by incorporating these tactics of:

effective communication.
giving space to each other.
allow your partner to expel their anger.
By forgiving or ignore your partner’s negligence.
Pay more attention in listening.

All these ways, helps you to kick out negativity and bring positivity in your relationship which obviously impact on your children’s behavior.

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04 Jun, 2020 Views: 512


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