Family conflicts are almost as old as humanity. A family is a group of people who, in most cases, live together. They share their money and food and are supposed to take care of one another. Its members are related by birth, marriage, or adoption, connected together through close ties that maintain their unity. Most religions consider family life to be a blessing and value the stability of marriage. Members of the Muslim family are interconnected in many ways. The marriage contract that binds husband and wife is called by God the Almighty, “a solemn covenant.” (4:21). This marriage contract is required to be enriched with ties of love and compassion between the couple to bring them even closer together. Then comes the tie that connects parents to their offspring.
It is human nature to have conflicts that may arise for any number of reasons, including lying, misunderstandings and disliking. Sometimes people will have a conflict because they have a fundamental disagreement on fundamental values. Conflicts are generally considered as relational disputes between two or more parties.
Relationship conflicts are disagreements between people, partners, friends, siblings, or co-workers. The root of the conflict might be something like a difference of opinion, knowledge, seniority, personality, or beliefs. Jealousy can often lead to conflict within a relationship and may have many consequences for all people involved.
Conflict may happen not only in the extended families but also may occur in marriage with only two persons involved. Dealing with the marriage conflicts is pretty similar with how to deal with family conflicts. Conflict can happen when family members have different views or beliefs that clash. Most Muslims believe that extended families mean greater stability, continuity, love and support for each other, but the varieties and types of family conflicts span a wide range of potential disputes we see in various settings of modern life. Most people consider living in a big family means facing different issues and conflicts. For example, grandparents may interfere when not needed and correct what they are doing. Mother-in-law conflicts with daughters-in-law are very well known. There may be too many visitors in the home. Lack of privacy and may be disagreements about how to bring up a child. Family financial conflict is top of the list when it comes to why families fight especially if all the earning members are not giving their due share for domestic requirements. Family members also begin to target particular business & properties of theirs to get hold in life of the parents or elders of the family. Sometimes personality clash and habits of children create problems and stress. When members of a family feel they have been treated unfairly or not given their fair share, they can harbor resentment for years, and sometimes the life time. Often conflicts can occur when people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion. Issues of conflict that are not resolved peacefully can lead to arguments and resentment.
It is normal to disagree with each other from time to time. Occasional conflict is part of family life. However, ongoing conflict can be stressful and damaging to relationships. Some people find it difficult to manage their feelings and become intentionally hurtful, aggressive or even violent.
Family conflict refers to active opposition between family members and often leads to friction involving the entire family. All interpersonal conflicts, whether they occur between family members, romantic partners, or groups, have certain elements in common in which the aims of the opponents are to negate, hurt or freeze out the rival. These various family conflicts can cause mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression and long term health effects such as high blood pressure, suppression of the immune system, premature aging etc.
It is wise to resolve the conflict and unrest situation by discussing the matters patiently, and peacefully to find the best solutions. Apologizing first is never wrong. It makes one a better person even when he or she has not made the mistake. If the other side has admitted their mistake and they apologize first, one should never reject their apology and accept them with a big heart and reconcile.
There is no easy fix for dealing with any type of family conflict. Families may not be able to resolve the conflict on their own. Sometimes one influential family member can lead the charge in handling family conflict in order to resolve family arguments and help all parties. If the problems are too big to be solved alone, then take help from a mediator. Mediator can be anyone; it can be the elders of the family, or some professional who can be trusted and really knows how to solve a conflict.
We should find the ways how to deal with family conflict in Islam:
The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) said "Do not ever sever your relationship with a member of your family even if he severs his relationship with you."
Islam views that keeping relations with family members prolongs one's life and increases one's sustenance. The enforcement of the Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam and Islam cannot be completely realized until this idea is implemented.
“The Believers are but a single Brotherhood, So make peace and reconciliation between your two(contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy.”
(Quran 49-10)
Communicating in a positive way can help reduce conflict so that family members can reach a peaceful resolution. This usually means that everyone agrees to a compromise or agrees to disagree.