How much strictness a child deserve

(Tooba Kamran, KARACHI)

It is a common misconception in our society that if a boss is strict, all subordinates are afraid of him and work best. If we move to the flashbacks, people would be tougher than they are today. It is also a fact that heavy punishments do not reduce the crime rate so it proves that harshness does not depend on the betterment of society or positive change in the attitude of the people. When it comes to discipline, strictness works but if we talk about the training and upbringing of children, things get a little different. If we think that we can achieve long term benefits while strictness over the children then it is counterproductive. Most people think strict parenting produces better-behaved kids. Research shows that strict child-raising produces kids with lower self-esteem who behave worse than other kids.

You can do strictness while upbringing your child and it works only when all the family members strictly follow the discipline. The more strictness you increase towards your child you will lose one important thing and that is the relationship between child and parent. The harder you get towards your child, the weaker your relationship with your child will become. This should be kept in mind that the children will only become ethically groomed and well trained if the relationship between the parent and children will stronger.

If your relationship with your child like to be a police officer and a criminal, you can make the child disciplined or obedient in some cases but your child would become a coward and you cannot make him stand on his own feet and have his own opinion or you cannot generate leadership qualities in your child. This is a dream of every parent that his or her child get more progressive than themselves but it can't be possible if you practice extreme strictness with your child.

If you do over strictness, the child would behave as you desire but over the period, he or she would tell a lie. For example, if your child smokes and you severely reprimand them, it is unlikely that he will stop smoking, but rather that he will start smoking secretly.

The straightaway conclusion is that it is the responsibility of you as a parent that you should be disciplined and ethical at home so the child will learn from you and this is the easiest way to teach discipline. The second important thing is that your child is a different entity, he or she is different from you so don’t try to enforce the rules or regulations that you followed in your childhood. “Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time.” says Hazrat Ali (R.A).

Provide some space for your children so that they live according to their wishes, otherwise you'll lose their abilities.

Tooba Kamran
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