Personality is infinite
vicinity. It is a vast concept and too complex to be described in a few
paragraphs. Not leaving myself devoted to define the personality and its types,
I come to the point; let me describe how different personality habits affect and
contribute to matrimonial bliss. These logics are merely approximates, since
they are not research based and are not in precise language of science.
These facts are based on just observations and informal interviews with such men
and women. The article describes the changes which marriage brings in one’s
personality. The article compares the changes in the personality of happily
married and unhappily married men and women.
First we talk about happily married men. They pose a stable emotional tone. They
are cooperative; they have such attitude towards their superiors, their wives,
their inferiors and underprivileged. They take interest in others in
difficulties. They try to become extraverted and provisional in social
gatherings. They are very careful about their assignments; they do their work
with great care and attention. They have more sense of responsibility and
willingness to give extra care to their daily work. They like to plan their work
and they do it in a procedural way and they like such men as do the same. They
are frugal and economic in terms of expenses. They try to save money and try to
avert wastage of money on useless shopping. They are cautious in their
expenditures and budget consumption. They have conservative thinking and
methodology. They have strict belief in religion and heavenly acts. They are
conventional in terms of sex mores and relational foundations.
Unhappily married men are much more different from those happily married. They
are often rude and uncooperative. They are often victim of inferiority complex.
They don’t want to be striking in social gatherings and they are highly reactive
in social opinion. The special feature of their personality is that they like to
spend most of their time in their subordinates or inferiors or in front of wives
where they could take pleasure in commanding role. They try to avoid
competitions and inferior roles. They are often absorbed in deep thinking or in
a state of unconsciousness. They spend their time in daydreaming. They are
careless in their work; they do not do their work with proper attentions and
interest. They dislike saving money and are slapdash in their expenses. They
express irreligious attitude and are radical approach towards sex mores and
politics.
Happily married women are kind and caring to others and they want kindness and
care from other in return. They are forgiving and simple in their dealings with
others. They are highly concerned with social relations and they never let a
precious relation spoiled for and unreasonable reason. They accept the criticism
with a smile and take others comments as a source of reformative changes in
their personality. They are flexible and soft. They try to sooth others even at
their own expenses. They take pleasure in helping others. They are optimistic
and conventional. They work with devotion and attention. They make fewer
complaints about what they miss in life. They believe in their good luck and
bright future. They are religious and conservative sex and politics.
Unhappily married women pose the same changes after their marriage as do
unhappily married men. They are moody and instable in emotions. They are
aggressive due to inferiority feelings they have in themselves. They are
egocentric and they have little interest in welfare activities. They find
opportunities for their personal recognition and prestigious outcome. They don’t
take pain in their work and responsibilities. They are pessimistic and narrow
minded. They are inclined to be irritable and autocratic. They like to build
more acquaintances but just for being more important rather being liked. They
are radical in politics, religion and social ethics.
Terman has also described the same characteristics for these types of men and
women. He, anyhow, have tried to produce a scientific impression in his article;
he conducted a research with married men and women-some of them were happily
married and some were unhappily married. He further concluded with theory as:
“Our theory is that what comes out of a marriage depends upon what goes into it
and that among the most important things going into it are the attitudes,
preferences, aversions, habit patterns, and emotional response patterns which
give or deny to one the aptitude for compatibility. In other words, we believe
that a large proportion of incompatible marriages are so because of a
predisposition to unhappiness in one or both of the spouses. Whether by nature
or by nurture, there are persons so lacking in the qualities which makes for
compatibility that they would be incapable of finding happiness in any marriage.
There are others, less extreme, who could find it only under the most favorable
circumstances; and still others who disposition and outlooks upon life would
preserve them from acute unhappiness however unfortunately they were mated.”
Incorporating Terman’s theory in our consideration, we can conclude this article
in the way as:
In simple words, the happiness and unhappiness in matrimonial life is the
product of the spouses being mated, their preferences, attitude, willingness or
unwillingness for marriage, emotional aspects of personality etc. The
compatibility in these factors and the willingness for marriage of both spouses
would bring about happy married life and the incompatibility in these factors
and the unwillingness for marriage of one or both of the spouses would bring
about unhappy married life.