I went deep into the ocean of words and I can't even find a single word to define me. My mind was stuck with this thought that why almighty Allah has created me? The universe is full of creatures then which thing, which purpose and which responsibility almighty Allah had to assign to me? Why I came to this beautiful world. The other thing that was annoying me was why I am feeling useless and a burden of this world despite the fact that Allah never even creates a stone that would be of no use. I was stunned by some of these questions that simultaneously grew in my mind.
I was getting scorned by people. I started imagining myself a piece of trash. I was wondering deep into the valley of nervousness .Alas, these stinging imaginations could not even change the thoughts of a single person and I was constantly drowning down into these imaginations. My heart was burning in its own fire and the deep wounds were causing discomposure for me. My questions for myself were catching their peak day by day, but there was no solution. But multiple thoughts came into my mind. God has created man in such an unexplainable manner that no one can understand. So every bad thought gave birth to a new thought with many solutions.
I came to know that I am such a unique gem that really needs just a sharp cut to come outside. That was the turning point of my imagination. All of my thoughts and imaginations started finding a beautiful world in me that was hidden in one corner of my heart. All my organs at once started finding that world that was comforting to my soul.Each passing moment was bringing good vibes with it. All of my words were useless to define that gem that was tickling my heart. I was floating into the oceans of dreams and I started realizing that the boat of my dreams would soon be able to catch the edge and that would be my destination. As I went deeper inside me I realized that my victory was under my fear. To uncover the hidden triumph first I had to overcome my fear and I did this. I tested my fear much closely.At the end, I came to know that these were people who were obstacles in the uncovering of my gem. I was feeling much guilt by thinking that I started looking at these people and I lost in myself. My mind was blown. My journey was full of complications, but to seek truth and to find myself, I completed it patiently and it was fruitful. I felt much lighter because my heart released a huge burden.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
– Harvey Fierstein
If you fall in love with yourself disregarding all the things that are creating hurdles in your journey; you would surely be able to find your shadow deep into the oceans and you would even be able to find it in the inner layer of tiny stone. Start loving you as you are the most idiosyncratic jewel that can't be found anywhere else.
Now I am fully independent and in fact it’s my trial whether I am going to choose good things or evil things. Now it’s all up to me to tag the difference between right and wrong which is my first and foremost duty after being in this world. All the beauties which are inside you and outside in this whole world can only be enjoyed by choosing the right path. Allah says “ I was a hidden treasure. I wanted to be recognized so I created this world” In this immense and massive world, a single soul having just 3.3 lbs brain has to select a world by which he has to stick throughout his whole life. The mystery and twist in this creation is that in world full of men, women, children and adults, not a single person can carry the liabilities of other person. So self love is a lock and choosing a right path is the key to open the lock. As you open the lock with the right key, the beauty which you find inside you cannot be found anywhere else in the whole universe. Firstly flash on your inner universe and then become your own voice. Eventually you will be merged in the countless beauties.
Written by
Khadija tayyab