By Rameez Ahmad Taquee -
It is generally considered that the human being is a social animal. Their nature
makes them earn a living among those who are like them. And it is their basic
need. If it would been enough for human beings that they would had food and
shelter to live their lives and clothes to cover their nakedness, they would
have got a great pleasure and happiness even in prison because, all their needs
on the surface of the earth are being provided for them without any hard ship.
And when the children grow into youth they become slaves to their necessities
and start planning for their families. It rarely happens that they would live
among parents forever.
But husbands and wives are life partners forever whether in happiness or sorrow
because they promise to live together in every condition and environment.
Therefore the glorious Qur'an has explained that the husband and wife are like a
dress for each other as it says: ''Women are dress for you and you are dress for
them''. (Albaqarah 187)
This is a beautiful, unparalleled, and meaningful way of describing the close
relations between husband and wife. Just as a dress hides the nakedness and also
protects the wearer against heat and cold, in the same way a couple is close to
each other.
And in the dress of life, it means in the selection of husband and wife we
should adopt the same views. Thus the Prophet (saws) is reported to have said:
Women are married for four things: for her wealth, her family back ground, her
beauty and for her religious nature, and so go for her religious nature”. (Bukhari
5090)
The Prophet (saw) further explained about it in another Hadith: “If you get
married on seeing her beauty, it might happen that her beauty may destroy her
image. And if you get married because of her wealth, it makes her arrogant. So
marry one only if she has Deen. And a black and pious slave is the best. And in
one Hadith it has been mentioned that the wealth goes and comes and beauty comes
to an end. Therefore do not cherish it.
Further he said in another Hadith: ''The best amongst the wealth of the world is
the pious women”. (Muslim 1467) So religious and pious women are also like
agreeable dresses. Because the righteous deeds are based on the fear of Allah
Almighty. Piety is constant and a great help to the husband. Thus knowledge and
piety remain in their descendants.
One day Hadhrat Umar Farooque (ra) passed nearby one house in the street of
Madinah. Suddenly he stopped in front of one house. The woman was saying to her
daughter: ''Mix the water in the milk.'’
Her daughter said: “O, my mother! You do not know, Amirul M'umenin has announced
that nobody should mix water in the milk”. The mother replied: “Is Amirul
M'uminin here?” The daughter said, and what a saying! “Mother! Though Amirul
Mu'minin is not here, but the Lord of Amirul Mu'minin is here and He knows all
the things”.
Hadhrat Umar (ra) was extremely interested in their conversation, as he was
standing behind the house, and it made him so surprised. He marked the house and
came back. Later, he sent a marriage proposal to them for his son, A'sim (ra).
It was the result of his good selection that Hadhrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz was
born in her descendant through her daughter. Later he was known near and far as
Umar-e-thani for his piety, morality, justice and equality.
Hadhrat Saeed bin Musayyib (ra) attained the highest knowledge of Hadith and
Fiqh. One day the king of those days sent a marriage proposal to him for his
daughter. He refused the marriage proposal for the king's son. But the fear was
that the king would insist and he might force him. So the problem persisted. But
meanwhile one thing happened that one of his intelligent, good-natured pupil
come to his class after being absent for some time.
He saw him and said: “My dear I can see anxious expression on your face.''
Student replied, “Yes sir! The matter is that my wife has passed away. Therefore
I became absent'. The teacher asked him: “Are you ready to get married again?”
He said: “Who will bother to marry his daughter to such a person as poor as me?”
The teacher said: “Only tell me, whether you agree or not”? This obedient
student said: “Yes”. The teacher married his daughter to his needy, poor, but
pure in heart student.
Then at the end of day, he brought his daughter and went to his house of his own
accord, and knocked the door. He asked: “Who are you?” The teacher replied: “I
am Saeed”. The student became afraid, and thought himself, what did compel him
to come to me unexpectedly.He rushed to open the door.
And he was puzzled for a few moments, when he saw the teacher with his girl. The
teacher said to him “I thought when you have got married with my daughter, why
should you be alone? Therefore I have brought your wife so that you both can
live together”.
This selection of son-in-law was only on the basis of Deen and on good conduct.
If a pious girl would come in the house and son- in-law would have a good
character, so Deen and righteous deeds will prevail in the house, and family
members would be punctual in Salah.
See the newspapers at present, and go through the advertisements of marriage,
and you come to know the people's choice of boys and girls: that she should not
less than any prettiest fairy, she must be educated and her height should be so
and so. But they do not care about religious virtues and piety at all.
Muslim community is also becoming very lax in looking for moral values in their
daughters-in-law. And sometime it occurs that Muslim women get married with
non-Muslims. Not only this, but many couples are opting to get married without
their parents' consent. This is a very deplorable situation. Unless there is
widespread move to raise awareness about moral values, not only about marriage,
but the whole gamut of human existence, things might turn out to be more
difficult for society as a whole.